Tuesday, July 12, 2011

How do stay-at-home-moms do it?



You know those mothers that just up and leave their families? Those bad, bad people! Yesterday, I felt like I could relate to those awful women. I actually considered the fact that I have a teaching license that will allow me to work in pretty much any state that I want. I fantasized about getting in my car and driving until I found the place that I would start my new life. Who thinks about stuff like that? Hopefully I am not the only one. I am hoping that it's just that I am willing to talk about it. You ask, what was going on? Why did you feel like that? Well, my kids were just getting on my last freaking nerve. They weren't doing anything especially annoying or out of the ordinary, I just couldn't stand looking at them or hearing their sweet little voices. I started to think even more about it and realized that I am probably not a very good mother. I think I am an efficient parent but as far as mothering goes, I'm struggling. When I think of mothers, I think of nurturing and patience. I spend 85% of my time making corrections. For example, I have only been awake for an hour and I have spanked one child and sent her to her room. I have also had to make another child get down from the breakfast table and pick up food that she was dropping on the floor. Keep in mind mh3 is still in bed. And, what it all really comes down to is that I haven't had a moment to myself in about 2 weeks (literally not a moment, they freaking follow me to the bathroom...I am not kidding). So, when TLB got home, I went to my room and closed the door. I got in bed and went to sleep for about an hour. After I slept, I got dressed, got my stuff together and left. I barely said goodbye to any of them. I drove to Florida and went directly to the beach. I wish. I actually drove to the chiroprator. (Which, went much better this time). I left Dr. Back Fixer and went to my Dad's. Dad knew that I was having a pity party and we ate LaBamba's and went and saw The Tree of Life. Do not waste your time or money on this movie. That was 2 1/2 hours of time that I could have spent wishing about living alone on a deserted island, instead I was spending the whole time trying to figure out what was going on in the movie. I still have no idea what it was about.



Today, I wake up feeling refreshed. I feel like I might have the energy to parent. We'll see how that goes.

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