Sunday, September 19, 2010

I think it's nature in the whole nature vs. nurture argument

I am going to try and take a frustrating experience and turn it into a funny experience because I am in touch with my feelings like that. Anywho, mh1 started soccer a few weeks ago. She has had 2 practices and the first game was yesterday. The first practice consisted of The Lawn Boy taking her while I stayed home with mh2 & 3. It was supposed to be an hour long practice but really it was just a coach (a guy that has never played soccer and is coaching out of the kindness of his heart) telling kids (using a very nice voice) to run around for a few minutes and then stop and take a water break, then run around for a few minutes, and then take another break, and then call it a night. There are a whole lot of problems with this. For one thing, mh1 stayed velcroed to her father's leg during the first half of the practice. When he finally eased himself away from her, the "coach" called for a break. So, mh1 comes over to get a drink of water. The water had this miraculous ability to turn her back into velcro. So the process starts all over again. The following Friday, the whole family attended the practice. Before practice started TLB kicked the ball around with mh1 for a few minutes. She was a superstar. She is fast, agile, and happy. She was eager to please her Daddy so she played well enough that I heard a mother close to me say, "That little girl is good." As soon as practice started she turned from fast, agile, and happy to slow, whiny, and defiant. She refused to play and I didn't have a lot of sympathy for the only drama queen on the field that was crying. I yelled to her to stop crying and get going. I could hear the judgement in the air. All of the other perfect mothers were encouraging their children with, "Way to go!" and "Good job!" while I was steaming with embarassment and frustration. Fastforward to game day. Before the game I leaned down to mh1, looked her in the eye and told her, "You are the fastest kid on that team. When you are running, beat them." And what did she do once we got to the field? What did that athletic, fast, agile child o' mine do? Cry.

Saturday, September 11, 2010


One- the number of people God choose for me

Two- the number of dogs we've had together

Three- the number of beautiful mini-humans that we have created together

Four- the number of years ago that I made a career change and started my Master's, I doubted myself several times, but he never did

Five- the number of times that I have wanted to punch him in the face (times 10)

Six- the number of years since I made the best decision of my life

Monday, September 6, 2010

The Adams Family

I was trying to think of a tv family that is most like mine, but I couldn't come up with anything but the Adam's family. They aren't really like mine, so I am going to build a mixture of tv characters that most closely resemble my family members, giving us a mosaic tv family. The following is a list of people who were at my Grandma's for Labor Day dinner.

Me- Claire Danes from My So Called Life, only not so much teen angst...actually we are nothing alike. Really, I just like Jordan Catalano (her love interest) so I am her.

The Lawn Boy- oooh, that is definitely going to have to be David Beckham. Yeah, I know he's not a tv character, but this is my family, so shut it.

mh1- Tinker Bell (who wouldn't want a Fairy for a kid)

mh2- The Tazmanian Devil...enough said

mh3- are there any baby vampires on tv?

My Nana- do you remember the secretary on Splash? (She accidently wore her bra on the outside of her shirt)- My Nana is a mixture of her and Ozzie Ozbourne. The incoherent curse words and ramblings occurs at every dinner. She actually called me "Arty" (that's my Dad) twice today and didn't even realize it. What's weird is that I knew she was talking to me and I had my back turned so it wasn't even like I knew because we made eye contact. I should have a problem with the fact that she is calling me someone that is 20 years older than me, 6 in. taller, 80 lbs. heavier, oh yeah, and male, but I don't cause she's crazy, so I went ahead and answered her.

My Pa- he would have to be one of the guys from King of the Hill. I've never even seen that show but I imagine trucker hats and country accents, then he comes to mind.

My Dad- He would best be fitted by a mix of Dr. Huxtable and The Monk. He is a family man, smart, funny and quirky (borderline Asperger's).

My Aunt- She is a thinner version of Dog the Bounty Hunter's Wife with dark hair.

My Uncle- He could totally fit in at Oz or as one of Brad's Pitt's friends in 12 Monkeys.

My cousin- a mix of any character from Laguna Beach mixed with any of the bratty kids from Super Nanny.

Can you imagine how much fun family dinners are for us?