Monday, November 15, 2010

Call 911

After work today I pulled into the driveway with a bit of hesitation. Anyone with small children can understand my apprehension. I have 4 children that are ages 31 and under. Ooops, I mean I have 3 children that are ages 4 and under and a husband. Anywho, on any given day I can walk into a nice, parent friendly, loving house. Also, on any given day I can walk into a dirty, hunger stricken, mean, battlefield. The mh's have the ability to create these environments (good or bad). You know how super heros have special powers, well that is there special power. So, I pull in the driveway, take several deep breaths, and check to make sure my weapon is loaded and the safety is off. I get out of the car and instantly I hear a screaming baby sound coming from the front window. Guess which day we were having? I walk around to the back of the car to get the groceries that I just purchased (it really is annoying that I am required by law to feed them...wouldn't starvation be the most effective punishment? (bad joke- I apologize to those of you who were neglected and malnurished as children-not really)) Did you like how I used so many parenthesis? These are the times that I understand why mh2 is possibly ADHD. Ok, back to the story. I am going to need you to really visualize this scene. I look up from the trunk only to see mh2 with her face pressed against the front window, looking at me from the inside of the house. Along with mh2 stands TLB, holding mh3 in one hand. In the other hand he was holding an magna doodle which he had written the following message to me... "HELP".

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Not up in here

Today at work I was casually giving a science test to 2 students when via the overhead I hear, "Mrs. Teacher-Lady, please come to the office. Mrs. Teacher-Lady to the office". I immediately jumped from my chair and RAN to the office. When I say ran, I mean the kind of running that you need a sports bra for. The kinda running that would have probably got me fired because these floppy milk bags that some called breasts were threatening to knock people out. I digress (see, I told you I love that). Why was I running you ask? Because there is NEVER a call over the loud speaker during the day. This prevents interuptions in instruction. The only time there is an all call is when there is an emergency (or when my Boss is out of the building because she never lets that go down). This is why my poor pancake boobies were taking out kids as I bolted through the hall. I imagined the worse, of course. I knew it had to be something wrong with one of my children or my husband. I burst open the office door to find 4 women and 2 children standing there waiting for me (it looked like they were packing the heat). I wish I had a camera to capture the look on our secretary's face (pure panic, fear, and shock) as I barged in. I immediately recognized one of the women as one of my student's mothers. Now, the threat is removed from my family, but why is she here I ask myself? Again, I begin to panic. Is something wrong with my student? I gasp, "What's wrong with So-and-so?" (Keep in mind I have just been on a sprint and I am pretty winded. She answers with a casual, "Somebody snatched him up and you need to get So-and-so down here." Whaaaa???? Come to find out, this beast brought in a posse to confront me about the statement that her child made. Well, let me tell you lady, you got the wrong lady. Your intimidation tactics of bringing in a posse ain't gonna happen up in here. So, I said, "Ok, I will go and get So-and-so and meet you in my classroom". I strategically told her this just so I could get a few thoughts together (remember I just recovered from panic and wasn't thinking too clearly just yet) and to get a hit of oxygen from another one of my student's ventilators. (I hope no one from the board is reading because that was a really bad joke). To get to the point, I go and get So-and-so, and ask for back up from the school's counselor. If the sh*t is going down I need better odds than 1 on 4. I can handle 1 on 2 (yeah this mom has come in all gang busters on me before with a group) but 4 is probably pushing my ninga martial art skills. So, we get to the point, and everything is fine now. The problem I am having is that this parent is definitely lacking in basic parenting skills for the 2 years I have known her child. I have never judged her for this. As a matter of fact, I have reached out to her and offered help when I should have just turned her sorry butt over to Child Protective Services to let them deal with it. From now on, no help from me. If the kid walks in with a darn tooth ache I am making a call to the authorities (that sounds so professional). She obviously doesn't want my help and I do feel like there are issues at home that she is trying to divert to our school. Not anymore and not up in here. I am sure you are still wondering why she was there- apparently the child went home yesterday and said, "Ms. Laura (my assistant) snatched me up out of my wheelchair and told me to hurry up." Come to find out, the child was about to fall to the ground and Ms. Laura grabbed him to keep him from hitting his head on the tile floor. Wrong time to advocate for your child, don't you think?