Thursday, April 21, 2011

When the dust settles

Mh3 has been sick for the past 5 days. This has made my week a whole lot of hectic, but lucky for me, her Big Poppa (my dad) stepped it up and has been helping out. I ended up taking her to the doctor today (even though I "knew" it was a virus, that couldn't be treated) because my Dad said, "Honey, you don't want to make the same mistake I did." Let me explain this comment to you, because this is one of the cases of child abuse that I was subjected to as a kid. When I was in 8th grade, I came down with an illness that forced me to a bed. The sickness not only forced me to bed (for 7 straight days) but it forced me to my Dad's bed (with him it). This is because, I was too sick to be left alone. My Dad wanted me to tough it out, sleep it off, shake it off, rub dirt on it, and whatever else, but basically he was waiting it out. Obviously I survived the illness, but the funny part about it is that I must have had a raging fever (that was going unchecked) but at some point I rolled over and faced my Dad (laying next to me, watching TV) and looked him in the eye and said one word (with a straight face). That word would be, "Evil". I then rolled over and went right back to sleep. Thank goodness it was my dad and not my Grandma. She might have ran out of the house and gotten a priest or something. I have no memory of this, but it still freaks me out to think about it. And, it must have freaked him out or he would not have convinced me to take my baby to the Dr.

Back to the title of my post. I am sitting by myself for the first time today. I have been awake for the past 14.5 hours and I have had a child by my side the entire time (except for the car ride to and from work, that of which I was on the phone probably talking about the sick baby). After the kids are in bed and when the dust settles I begin to realize how quickly my day goes and how crazy my days are. Children are tough to care for. I left the doctor's office thinking, "They should be prescribing valium for mommy as they are writing the script for amoxicillin for baby." But I survived the day, and look forward to a new one.

And, some of you saw my Facebook post yesterday and read that mh2 prayed for God to, "Give Daddy good muscles." I am not kidding, today, mh1 prayed for God to "Give Daddy strong muscles." HELLO RANDOM KIDS!!!??? Daddy's muscles are getting all the prayers...If we are going that random, can't you pray for mommy to get perky breasts or a house keeper?

Monday, April 18, 2011

Scary stuff

  • I saw a bumper sticker today that read, "Islam is faith, peace, and security". Riiiiight.

  • I cleaned out 1 closet this weekend. Guess how many bags of clothes I am giving away....5. And, yes, you read correctly, that only came from 1 of the closets in my house. I have so much unnecessary stuff that would be a contender for Hoarders, only I don't hoard.

  • TLB told me today that he does believe in "soul mates". Ahhh. I asked him how he figured it out. He said he was out cutting grass and he saw a girl walking through the parking lot. (yes, that's a period)

  • But really, after we laughed, he said, he doesn't know if there is such a thing as soul mates, or love at first sight, but he does think that God plans for each of us to be with a certain person, and whatever that's called, is what we have.

  • mh3 started in the one-year-old room today at Daycare. She has been walking for a week now, and she still seems to small to hang in there. She didn't last long today because she ended up coming down with a temperature and she was so fussy they put her back where she was comfortable in the infant room until I got there. This is scary because, I don't understand how the past year has gone by so quickly.

  • On April 27, 2011, it will be 10 years to the date that I met TLB. When I look back to that time, I realize I was just a girl then.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Some things you don't know about me...

1. TLB and my Dad get on me because I totally give homeless people beer and cigarettes. I always think that if was that hard up all I would probably want is a buzz. As a matter of fact one time at Kroger I saw this man digging through the ash tray in front of the store and it was freezing butt cold outside. He was looking for cigarette butts that were still smokable. I went in the store and went to the service desk and asked for the cheapest pack of cigs they had. I paid and turned around to walk back outside and give them to him and he was standing right behind me. I was at a loss for words because I didn't want him to know I bought them. So, I just walk off. Then, I decided I would give him the cigs....I walked up to him and it went just like this-

me- "Excuse me sir?"

dirty-stinky- hairy- homeless guy-that-was-just-looking-to-smoke-used-cigs, "Yeah?"

me- "I found this pack of cigarettes on the ground and I don't smoke, do you want them?"

dirty-stinky- hairy- homeless guy-that-was-just-looking-to-smoke-used-cigs, "I don't smoke that brand." (imagine him saying this to me while he has this really disgusted look on his face).


Instead, I just walked off with my tail between my legs. A few minutes later, I took my receipt to the service desk and got my money back.

2. If we ever take any kind of group fitness class together, and I don't know you, I am probably competing against you (in my mind). This especially happens when I do Zumba or Bootcamp. During Bootcamp I pick whoever I think the fittest girl in the class is, and that is who I try to keep up with. I might be a little bit competitive and this keeps me motivated!

3. When I was a little kid, I did not know what I wanted to be when I grew up. This is because, all I ever dreamed about was being a mother. How many people do you know have their dreams fully realized (times 3)?

4. My new band I am digging right now is Citizen Cope. Check it.

5. I am really tired of the whole, "I am a drug addict because I have a disease" thing. Especially people that have kids that they don't see, don't love properly, don't care for, or abuse.

6. It drives me CRAZY when TLB dips the butter knife into the peanut butter and then dips it in the jelly and there is pb in the j. He is one nasty mo fo.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Funny things about rich people

I had the great honor to turn in my the gift certificate TLB gave me for Mother's Day 2010. It took me a year to turn it in because I find it illegal (I mean inappropriate) to leave the kids in the car while I run in and get a massage, so I had to wait until I had the opportunity. Upon entrance to this lovely establishment, I was greeted by a tall, gorgeous, blond, receptionist that barely looked up from her computer to say, "Hello, Welcome to Joseph's. What service are we providing today?" This is in a voice that is so sickly, syrupy chipper that I threw up a little in my mouth. I am all about being pleasant, but only as long as it's with sincerity. For instance when she said, "We are glad you're here." I obligingly replied, "Thank you." and she replied again with, "Great." I need you to read that again....Now you're with me. She said, "Great" for no freaking reason other than she thought that she had to keep talking and really she was unable to multitask (as she was checking me in and looking at something on her computer), so she just threw the word "great" out there. It was weird. Once I was back in the salon, they asked me to go to the restroom and change out of my clothes into a robe and sandals. The runner told me to get as undressed as I am comfortable with. Well, anyone that knows me knows that I don't really get uncomfortable, so I was left with a dilemma. Do I take my granny panties off or not? Well, I did. I was free ballin' under that robe. I even had to go back to the waiting room for a minute like that. There was another lady in the waiting room waiting for her service. Something about people from the East End keeps them from making eye contact with people of the likes of me. She had on a fatty diamond and high heels. I wore nike flip flops in there. Then this 60 something year old East ender walked in there and she didn't make eye contact with me either (though she did request a "hot tea" from the girl that told me to get naked). I was kind of insulted, but really I didn't care because I was basically naked and afterwards I thought that maybe they were avoiding me because they were afraid a milk bag would fall out. Weirdos (and I include myself in that). So, I got my massage and honestly the conversation was better than the actually rub down. It was not worth the $ and I will definitely only be getting massages as special occasions. One more thing, on my way out (back at the receptionist's desk) I overheard this woman trying to decide if she should get this $25 paddle brush. Apparently they only had one more in stock. Come to find out she didn't have the money but she would later in the day and asked her to hold the brush for her behind the desk. She also asked the receptionist to go ahead and schedule a "polish change" for the following Thursday. I wanted to pull her aside and say, "Look stupid, you don't have the $25 you "need" for that brush, but you are going to pay someone to change the color of your nail polish? Get a life, and get some self worth." Sad people. I was happy to walk out of there in my nike flops and t-shirt (and greasy hair from all the oil they rubbed all over me). I was looking a hot mess for real. The highlight of my day was when I went to the mall to eat lunch. I placed my order at Sbarro and the cashier asked me if I was a mall employee, I told her I wasn't, but she still gave me the discount!!! I think she appreciated my honesty. What a nice lady. I probably should be offended by the fact that she thought I looked like a mall employee (kinda like being given the senior citizen discount when you're not a senior) but I was pumped to save $1.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The evolution of fun

Let me take you on a journey of how "fun" has evolved for me over the years.... When I was a toddler, I probably thought it was fun to make messes, eat cookies, and poop in my pants. When I was around 8, fun was riding my bike around the neighborhood (alone- I was a weird little kid), and reading books (again alone). When I was around 13, fun was BOYS. I liked talking to them and about them. When I was 15, fun was playing basketball, playing softball, and BOYS. When I was 18-21 fun was my college dorm room, keg parties, and ridiculous amounts of Segram's 7. When I was 21-25 fun was bar hopping. When I was 25-30 fun was taking care of babies (I'm pushing it with that one). When I was 31, fun is driving to get dinner at the Skyline Chili that is in the parking lot of the mini-humans' pediatrician (that they know very well). As I am pulling in I tell them, "I hate to break it to you, but you have to get shots today". I let them freak out a little bit and then, I pull up to Skyline. That's fun. Suckers.

Friday, April 1, 2011

The "fair" comes in August

You are cordially invited..... to join me while I have a pity party. I just found out that my friend from work had a bouncing baby boy. That is so exciting because this is her 4th baby, the first 3 being girls. She did not know what she was having throughout the pregnancy and the anticipation of not knowing was SUPER exciting. Today she delivered a healthy boy, and I am super pumped for her. Now, onto the pity....I want a baby boy. I love my girls and wouldn't trade them in for 10 boys (well, maybe mh1) but I want a son so badly. Why is it that I am so suprised when I find out that people are having boys??? Like, "They had a boy? What a shocker! How could they have a boy if I didn't have a boy?" I mean, isn't there only two possible choices (excluding the possibility of hemaphrodites)? Luckily for TLB, he has already been neutered or I would at this time be begging for another mini human. Being that, we do not have that option, I need to visit other avenues. How about adoption? TLB says we are not having any more children. No fair. Crazy much? That is what I should have titled this post. I know I am crazy, ungrateful (I always get mixed up so x-squeeze me if that should be "ungreatful"), and irrational, but my heart won't let it go. OK, thanks for coming to the party but now I am onto brighter topics....SPRING BREAK!!!! Yeah!! Someone today asked me what I was doing for Spring Break, I explained that I have no plans, but I am looking forward to a particular 6o minutes of the break. That will be when I am laying on a table having all my stressed massaged out by a certified professional at Joseph's Salon & Spa. I am so lucky! I also have some gift cards from my birthday to spend. Spring break is looking pretty awesome so far. You may realize that I have deleted a previous post. It isn't fair to leave that up. What if that person happened to read my blog and it hurt her feelings. Even though she has hurt my feelings for what seems like a lifetime, I would never want to make her feel bad about herself. Also, mh2 told me today that if you run a red light you will be put in time out. I asked her who would put us in time out if we did run a red light and she explained that's what school buses are for. Huh...and all this time I thought those kids were headed to school, who would have thought they were part of a massive traffic control system.