Monday, July 30, 2012

I have a confession to make

A friend of mine and I were discussing potty training strategies today (yes people, I talk about poop and pee like it's an olympic event).  Anywho, she asked me what to do about going out to places like Kroger.  Should she still take the kids out in panties and just bring extra clothes and things to "clean up"?  I laughed at this question because it reminded me of an episode that happened while I was Krogering a few weeks ago.  I had all of the mhs with me to pick up some things at the place I call "hell with food".  I accidently ended up walking down the aisle that has all of the beauty products.  I started looking at anti-aging creams (remember my post here about tea?  now I'm obsessed with how to stop my skin from wrinkling- why am I so weird???).  Whenever I am out with the heatherns (I know it's actually spelled heath-e-n-s, but pronouncing it with an extra "r" sound is so much more like my Nana would say it, way cooler) and I need to look at things with complete focus (beauty creams are really intense) I just do this thing to keep me from getting distracted by the's called ignoring them.  So, I'm all looking at creams and pretending that I am really important and in the far corners of my mind I hear this sound.  As my mind starts to take hold of the gibberish it keeps picking up on, it slowly starts to make sense of it and I realize the gibberish is actually, "Why is the floor all wet?"  I look down and see that mh3 took a p!ss all over the seat of the cart and it dripped into a big puddle on the floor.  I did what any prepared mother/good citizen would do.  I looked around for witnesses and I briskly walked away.  I purchased my groceries (from the UScan- I couldn't risk one of the big mouths questioning me in front of the cashier about our escape from the pee pee aisle), and left the store.  I kow that this blog is really popular (I've got like 30 followers- duh), so the store manager is probably reading this and now I'm busted.  Sorry Mr. Store manager- I'm a loser with 15 little people and all I wanted to do was rub oil of olay on my face.  If it was poop, I promise I would have picked it up (probably).  If you don't have kids, you can't understand why I didn't stop and clean it up- when you have kids, you'll understand that I am not an indecent person, just stressed.

Next topic- I am running in the Rugged Maniac in August.  I don't like to run for any length over like 20 ft.  I force myself to do it, but I hate it.  Training consists of me forcing myself to run for way longer than I enjoy.  I have the endurance physically, but I do not have the mental endurance.  If you ever feel like coming and yelling at someone, I  would like to have someone come and scream at me while I run.  Seriously.  I need someone to be all like, "Keep going or I'm going to hit you!"

I go back to work in 15 days.  At the end of the summer I am usually looking forward to getting back to a normal routine.  This year, I'm not ready to go back.  With The Ex's training and all that, my summer flew by (it sounds so cliche but time really does go by faster as I get older).  I don't really feel like I got a chance to relax and enjoy being off this year.  I miss my work peeps but I am nervous about getting adjusted to The Ex's new schedule while working.  Wish us luck!

I promise I'll get to the body image post soon. 

Thursday, July 19, 2012

A new career?

I know a ridiculously talented photographer ( who took pictures of me when I was pregnant with mh3 and then again when she was about 5 months old.  He follows this blog and gets on me about having a picture on here.  So, he came up with the "Superwoman" theme to shoot some pics for the blog. 

Here are some of the pictures that Mike took:
(this is my favorite)

(this is my second favorite)

(this is my sister's favorite)

(When my Dad saw this one, I quote, "You look dumb here. Like, "I don't know what 2 plus 2 is?")

Mike and I also talked about this picture (make sure you read the comments on the pic). You all know that I am not the thinnest person there ever was- as a matter of fact my dad's nickname for me is "Skinny"- so I was all over getting some pics taken of me as a "normal" girl. (And, for the record (I'm looking at you sensitive people), my Dad is only kidding and it's because of people like him and my mom that have given me the confidence to be proud of who I am, and of what I look like (mostly)).  So, with that picture in mind, ee also took some pics of me in bra and panties.  I am not quite ready to share those, but maybe one day.  And, they aren't bra and panty sexy, sexy.  We were going for the pinterest girl look.  After looking at them it makes me feel more exposed than I thought I would feel, though his work is awesome, the model is still a little nervous to show you her goodies!  I am going to blog about body image later.

This leads me to my next thought....A lot of times when I am writing this I think, "Nobody wants to read this crap.  Who cares about my random day to day life?"  I feel the same about the pictures.  I feel weird posting even the ones that you see.  I feel weird because I don't want people thinking I'm all like, "LOOK AT ME!  LOOK AT ME!".  But in all honesty, I think these are great pictures.  The reason that they are great, is because I had an awesome photographer.  I called him an artist yesterday and he said he hates when people call it (his work) that.  I don't know what else to call it.  Mama ain't no model- these pics are a result of him choosing pictures from the hundreds that he took and then editing them to down to a final 14, then he works his editing "magic" and this is what you see. 

I wish he could come to my house everyday and edit my real life self.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012


Only if you have known me for a long time do you know that my all time favorite band is Pearl Jam.  I became a fan when I was in 7th grade.  I remember the first time that I heard "Jeremy".  I was in my friend Amber's (not my best friend Amber today, another Amber) bedroom laying on her bed in the middle of the afternoon.  After I listened to "Jeremy" she played "Black" and my soul was touched.  Before that moment, I always listened to music my dad picked out for me.  This included Aerosmith, The Grateful Dead, Jackson 5, Lovin' Spoonful, Queen, The Doors, The Jody Grind, Rolling Stones, The Police, Tiffani, various others, and Milli Vanillli (just kidding about my Dad introducing them to me, but I did like them and see them in concert).  Don't get me wrong, I loved (and still do love) all of those bands but they were given to me, they weren't discovered by me.  I heard Eddie's voice on my own.  I loved the band from then on.  When I was in 8th grade they went on tour and my Dad spent a lot of money for me to go see them live and gave his ticket to his girlfriend (at the time).  (He's a fan, too but he had already seen them live and wanted to give her the chance to see them, hence her going instead of him).  Anywho, that was the best show I have ever been to in my life.  It was 1994 and all they had on stage with them was their music.  It wasn't a show with lights and pyro, it was a concert, it was just music and people and awesome.  I continued to listen to them and loved them even when they were putting out ok albums (like Yield).  TLB suprised me with tickets in 2002.  It was a good show, but it couldn't compare to the first show.

Today I watched PJ20 and they were showing a clip of them playing "Release".  It was so weird because I got an actual physical reaction to watching and listening to them play that song.  I seriously got a feeling in my chest that made me want to cry.  (Yeah, I'm weird like that).  So, now I am on a mission to figure out a way to see them in 2012.  I realized while watching the movie that they are getting old (does that mean I am getting old?).  How much longer will they want to tour?  I have this sense of urgency that I have to see them ASAP. 

If anyone is interested in heading to ATL or Pensacola in September to catch them with the Foo Fighters- hit me up!

Monday, July 2, 2012


Dear God, I hope not!  The two eldest miniature humans tried their first gymnastics class tonight.  It was a "trial" class and we told them that if they liked it, we would talk about signing them up.  The commitment is only once a week for one hour.  Anywho, they left loving it!  I am secretly (well, not anymore) dissapointed.  I was hoping that at least one of my daughters would enjoy an actual sport.  Should they decide to cheer I might decide to tie a rock to my ankle and jump in the Ohio.  I would not be upset if they were competing on a gymnastics team but doesn't turning and tumbling inevitably turn to "Rah, rah, rah!"?
Also, while watching the 2 big girls, I had the smallest mini-human in tow.  She proceeded to tell a random stranger something about her panties and that she was 2 about 16 times.  She is not the shy one of the group.  I almost bent down and whispered to her, "They don't care!" but she was pretty cute, so I just watched when she proceeded to put her dirty bare baby feet on aforementioned (yes!  I always want to use that word) stranger.

Do any of you all have the same obsession with Mad Men as I do?  I recently started watching it on Netflix and have been unable to turn it off!  I want to do housework in high heels and go to bed with curlers in my hair everynight!  Not really, but I do wish that nowadays people took as much pride in how they were perceived by others as they do on that show.  I would love to have the ability to have dinner and a drink ready for my man when he walks in the door everyday.  Plus, they have really good eyeliner.