Monday, September 19, 2011

Google Voice

This means fun times for me. Look it up and then prank text your dad from your new phone number. These are the texts that I sent him,
"I'M WATCHING YOU." no response
next text..."SO, YOU LIKE HELL'S KITCHEN?" no response text..."NICE SOCKS" (if you have ever met my dad he wears these really ugly wool socks that my step mom has to buy from some flea market somewhere (maybe the black market) text...."HELLO?"...still no response. He's a stalker's worse nightmare. Next text...."SEND YOUR DOG OUTSIDE, I LOVE PLAYING WITH HER." Still no response. After I waited forever to get a call from my dad begging me to come over and rescue him the killer that is texting him I folded and called him. He hadn't even freaking looked at his phone (too busy with Hell's Kitchen I guess). I told him to check it and he said, "Oh hey, how'd you do that? The one about the dog is freaky." I'm thinking, my dad is so weird, but then I remembered that I set up a fake phone number to prank text.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Not so funny

I was told by Bossy Britches that it was time for a new blog post. I explained that I wasn't feeling too peppy, so I have stayed away from the blog. I am not a pity party whiney butt (most of the time), and want to keep the blog a fun place. So, while I was acting like a baby, I stayed away.

I'm back motha' truckers. (my dad loves language like that, you're welcome dad.)

Since the last post, I realized our burglar was not the dummy....We were dummies. Apparently people that are robbed go into some state of shock and forget to check and make sure they still have all of there valuables. Well, we were missing a lot more than a broken lap top. Good thing is, the person was caught and we will be getting some cash to cover some of our loss.

Funny kid story: All of three of the little people that belong to me were sick at some point over the last 2 weeks. Looking back on the disgusting sickness that plagued our home, there was a funny moment that at the time was more like a horror show. Let me share: It was right before bedtime and I was giving mh2 her antibiotic. She swallowed it and proceeded to say, "Mommy, my throat feels funny." I knew that meant one of 2 things....either her throat felt funny, or she was getting ready to blow chunks. How might you guess my luck led me? That's right. We started heading to the toilet. On our way, she went ahead and lost her cookies on the floor. I being the heroic mother that I am grabbed her around the waste (from behind) and yanked her backwards to prevent her from stepping in vomit. How do you think that having someone tank you around the stomach and pull you straight backwards feels??? Probably terrible, the poor baby just needed that extra tug to go ahead and ralph again. But she is a tiny little soldier that never cried once. I love that kid and her happy little self, even when I do have to gag while cleaning up contents of her belly.

So that you know our school district spent $810,000 this year buying fruits and vegetables for students to try at school as a snack twice a week. Let me be clear, this is not fruits and vegetables that go in their lunch. These are fruits and vegetables that are cut up and sent to our classrooms in the afternoon twice a week in order to let kids "experience" fresh produce. In case you didn't know...that's your money they're using. Your tax dollars at work buying cucumbers and low fat dressing for kids to snack on. Funny, mh1 was sent to school today with a baggy that contained fresh broccoli, cucumber, and carrot sticks. I would prefer to do the parenting while the govn't uses my money to go crazy and teach her to read and write. I wouldn't even be upset if they went all out and taught her how to do addition or subtraction.