Sunday, December 26, 2010

Am I doing this all wrong?

I won't find out until they are adults. Then, it is too late. Sometimes I spend the entire day yelling at the kids (mostly mh2). I wonder to myself, "Self, should you yell at them like that? Would it be better to get on my knees at eye level with them, use a soothing, calm voice and let them know that I am dissapointed in them?" Then I think, "No, Self, you have too many mini-humans running around to take the time to do that every time one of them needs to be corrected." That's when I get conflicted because I do not have enough time in the day. I feel like compliant, respectful, gracious children make compliant, respectful, gracious adults. I want my girls to look back on their childhood and remember being loved. I am afraid that they will look back and only remember that I am a raving, screaming crazy person because I am so worried about building compliance and respect.

It makes me happy that I can take my children anywhere and not worry (too much) about their behavior. At the same time, is that worth all the screaming that I do? I swear I yelled so loud at mh2 a little while ago to, "COME HERE!!!!" (because she was ignoring me- "ignoring me" is a little inaccurate, actually she was running in the opposite direction) that I think the neighbors heard me through the open back door. I was embarassed for a split second, but then I think, "Self, doesn't everyone probably yell at their kids? You're probably just the only one that will admit it." So, come on out of the closet, all you yellers. I am here for you.

3 comments:

  1. This is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books, it always runs through my mind when I have one of those parent freak out moments. But just so you know, I think we are of the fingerprint smudge kind of damagers and not the shattering kind.

    "All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."
    — Mitch Albom (The Five People You Meet in Heaven)

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  2. I'm definitely a "yeller". sometimes I wish I would stop because I think about it later and feel bad. But I can't help it I think its in our genes.....blame it on mom

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  3. I yell a lot too and I always feel bad about it later. I just hope that one day he appreciates the things I did right more than he is disappointed in the things I did wrong.

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