The perfect vacation

I was doing pilates at the Y yesterday (me and pilates is a whole 'notha post) and the instructor (who is fabulous) was talking about how she is going on vacation next week to Great Wolf Lodge. She was kinda playing down her trip "because it's not Florida or anything". I said, "Well, vacation is not really vacation when you have little kids". I really mean that, but not in a bad way. When I think of vacation, I think of me laying on a beach, drink in hand. I only get up from said location to eat, cool off in the water, or let water. Furthermore, it is only a vacation if the people in close proximity to me do NOT require me to do anything in order to sustain their survivability (this can include TLB). Now that I have defined vacation for you, what we have done in the past is take the kids out of town. They definitely have a good time, but it is an extraordinary amount of slave labor for me. Knowing this, I told my friend that I want to go on the annual week long camping trip with her family next year. Yes, I said WEEK LONG CAMPING. Really? I know I'm crazy, but that might be stupid. Anywho, it sounds like fun enough and mh3 will be over 2 by next summer. I might be able to handle it.

One day, I will convince various family members to take care of the mini humans while I go on a real vacation (I will probably invite TLB). If I fail to find various family members to care for them, I will contact Kentucky Department of Human Services to inquiry on foster care.

More on me & my first experience with pilates at a later date.

That is all.

Are all families as crazy as mine?

How many of you all can go to your grandmother's funeral and be privy to see your cousins cussing each other out? Well, I didn't actually get to "see" it (I was busy mourning the loss of one of the best women in the world) but I heard about it. Thing is...I love everyone is my family but I do wish they could all get along (in my Rodney King voice).

Onto a different thought in this busy brain of mine...My cousin and I were talking about how you have to be careful about who you are talking about on your blog. He made the suggestion of blogging anonymously. Funny thing about that for me is; I'm too narcissistic for that. Why would I write if I knew that no one knew who I was?

New thought: Who is watching Falling Skies? Anyone? I'm getting ready to start watching it with a big 'ol bowl of ice cream. I am also all alone (mini humans and lawn boy in bed). Ice cream and peace...I'll feel like I'm on vacation.

New thought: I don't want to live to be 97-years-old unless I am of sound mind & body. And, sound mind translates to being relative to how sound my mind really is now. Dude, I'm pretty coo-koo for cocoa puffs now, imagine how crazy I'll be in about 60 years.

New thought- no injuries were sustained in the canoe trip on Saturday. Though, TLB, proceeded to climb a ridiculously tall tree and swing from a rope into the water. See that picture? I obviously didn't marry him for his brains.

In their defense and other random thoughts

-I make jokes about the mini-humans all of the time, but really they are excellently behaved baby girls. How am I be sitting at my kitchen table, jamming to Lissie, drinking coffee, and writing this blog while they all play together in the other room? Because they are good girls (granted they pull eachother's hair or pinch eachother every other minute, but as long as they aren't bothering me...).

-I finished the last assignment for my summer course last night. Once the grade posts, I will have a Master's Degree in Learning & Behavior Disorders. Once I take the Praxis on July 18, I will be officially certified to teach students with LBD. I feel so relieved to have this degree complete!

-I am thinking of a friend who's husband is having some serious health problems. I am definitely in prayer for her.

-Go to the zoo on an overcast day. For whatever reason it's not as crowded. I don't know if it makes a difference for the animals or not, but yesterday was a good day to be there.

-TLB and I are planning on a canoeing trip with friends on Saturday. Last time we went I almost broke my arm (for real, my arm got pinned in a weird place in the boat when I was trying to kick us off some rocks and TLB had to use those giant biceps of his to lift me out of the canoe), the time before that, our canoe tipped so many times that both sides of my legs were covered (I am not exageratting when I say covered) with bruises. So much so, when we were on vacation a few days later, a lady on the beach stopped me and said, "Honey, you don't have to take that." That's funny. TLB abusing me? The only abuse I endure is when he tries to make the canoe trip "more exciting" and that's when we end up tipping and I get banged up. He promised me this time, he would make more of an effort to prevent me from being injured.

-When I was at the hospital visiting my grandma, we were talking about how my grandma has lived a long life (to 98!) because she lived a healthy life (no drinking or smoking). My cousin and I continued to talk about the strong genes that my family seems to have. I see things in my girls that have been passed on for generations. My cousin responded by saying, "Conni Jo, evil is strong." We are also a funny group of people.

-My Nana doens't speak to her sister. I have no idea why. Their rivalry has been around longer than I have and probably longer than my Dad's been around. I can't imagine not having a relationship with Baby S. She is the only person in the world that can truly relate to my childhood. She knows me. She loves my crazy kids as if they were her own. Plus, she's just plain 'ol good to me. For instance, she has kept the mini-humans everyday this week so that I could go to class. That is 4 kids to take care of when you count my niece (I told you she's the bomb dot com). Not only did she care for my youngins' she mopped my kitchen floor. That's sisterly love.

Keep it poppin' Pimpin'

What are you doing with your life?

Better yet, what am I doing with my life? When I get to the end, will I be able to look back on my life and feel satisfied with it? By "it", I mean, will I be proud of the way that I lived my life? I hope so. My great grandmother (if you would like to know a little bit more about how I feel about her read this) is nearing the end. She is old and it is her time. My step mom asked me how I was doing. I really am fine with it. She is 98! She has bad hearing, bad eyesight, difficulty chewing and a mind that has been slipping away from her for quite a while. It is time for her to go Home. It is time for her to go to Him.

I am so lucky to have had 31 years with my great-grandmother. Who knows their great-grandmother as well as I do? Who had the opportunity to be loved by someone as wonderful as she loved me? I am sad for my grandmother and my Dad but I am happy for my great grandma. She has looked forward to this for as long as I can remember. She is the one who I would call and ask her all the questions that I had about The Bible. I remember I heard about how terrible the end of the world would be when it came, and she told me, "Jesus will come like a thief in the night. There is no point in worrying about it." She also explained to me that because I believe that Christ died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead that I have been saved. I believe her.

Kiss the people that you love and tell them you love them.

Flag Day

This holiday probably means nothing to you, but to me it means a lot. My Dad shares his birthday with Flag Day. This year he turns 51. He was 19 years old when I was born and I wouldn't be who I am, without the guidance that I received from him. My Dad gave me the following things:

• my ears


• my height


• my sense of humor (funny or not, it's from him)


• my toes


• my hair


• my eyes


• my hands


• my conservative ideals


• my understanding that children need rules and regulations to feel safe


• my confidence


• the ability to make fun of myself (one of his best nicknames for me is "skinny", anyone that knows me knows that "skinny" is far from what I am)


• the ability to make fun of myself walks hand in hand with my self confidence


• the love I have for animals (our dog Pearl Jam was the best he drove to Atlanta to rescue her from some guy that kept her locked in a cage all the time. Also, one time I went on an incognito mission with him to scope out a mistreated dog that he later stole and gave to someone that would take proper care of it)


• stuff (car, house, ect.)


• love

Happy Birthday to the best Dad in the world. My Dad can beat up your dad.

I want to know Victoria's Secret!

My darling sister (Baby S) got me a gift card to Victoria's Secret for my birthday. Note that my birthday is March 18, and yesterday was June 10. I really don't have time to shop for such things as pretty bras. Plus, for the last 5 years of my life I have been wearing nursing bras, so nice underlings (is that a word?) wasn't a priority for me. Besides, all babies care about is that the milk bag is there, not what it's wearing. So, my friend Kristie and I ventured VS to do some work for these pancake titties of mine. I also had a coupon for a free pair of panties and $10 off. I was given strict instructions from Baby S to try on every bra they have until I find the right one. With my instructions and Kristie in tow I walked up to the VS lady and told her what I was there to do. She offered to measure me, obviously I am immodest so we did that right in the middle of the store. Then she radioed to, Natasha, the "bra specialist", my size and told her that I was headed to the fitting rooms. As I am walking back there I wondered to myself if you have to have an advanced degree to be a certified Bra Specialist. Anywho, Natasha was gorgeous and spoke with a thick Eastern European accent. By the time I tried on the 20 bras she demanded I put on (literally 20 and literally demanded, like this, "You put this on next...it give you poosh up"), I was confused about what I liked and didn't like. Natasha was brutally honest and she remembered perfectly what looked good and what didn't fit. I should also note that she barged in the fitting room anytime she felt like it. She basically told me what bra I was to buy and then led me to the panties. She asked me what size I wore, I told her and she said (remember to use your thick accent), "No no no...that's naught yar zize. You go try on." My reply, "No way. I've been in there for too long already, I'm not trying on panties." She says, "You try on here in store- over clothes." So, I pulled on panties over my shorts in the middle of VS. I also accidently pulled them up a little to far and it pulled my shorts with them. My cheeks were hanging out the bottom and I proceeded to drop it like it's hot as if I was the Sun Drop girl. I had to make sure they were danceable. Natasha barely laughs and says, "I tell you, that zize naught fit you. You wear dis zize." I want to be best friends with Natasha.

***If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say Sun Drop girl, please watch this video. It is soooooo funny. Don't let me crack a Sun Drop open out in public...folks would be getting embarassed cause I would be dropping it like it's hot, fo sho. http://youtu.be/xuqBxvwYYUM

Crazy (shouldn't all my posts have this title?)

It is 10:11 am and this is how my morning has gone so far....
Wake up, start coffee part, relieve my bladder, break up a fight, wash dishes, start load of laundry, break up fight, start making breakfast, go get baby and clean up poopy butt, set table for breakfast, write note to babysitter, get everything ready for lunch and dinner for babysitter, break up another fight, clean up baby that has eggs, strawberries, and cream cheese all over her. Keep in mind I woke up at 9:00. All that in one hour! Believe it or not, that's not why I am crazy. I am crazy because just now, I got online to check my email, and I read my favorite blog www.fitnessista.com and she has announced her pregnancy. She described how she found out and I was all like, "Ahhh, I want to be pregnant and have a baby." Whaaa??? These are the moments when I talk to myself like this, "Self, I'm bout to pimp slap you for talkin' all that crazy ish. You got a sh!t ton of kids runnin' aroung the crib trying to put you in Our Lady of Peace. Don't be crazy self." The thing is, as crazy as my girls make me, and as busy as I am, I am very happy with my life. I love that these three mini-humans are mine. They are bratty little turkeys but they are sweet little angels all at the same time.
So, now I have 40 minutes to shower, get ready, pack all the children in the car, pick up sitter, and go. This is why my post is titled "crazy", cause that's how I roll.