Nails on a chalkboard

TLB and I get in discussions about words that we hate. For instance he hates when people say, "comfy" or "jammies". Imagine how irate he gets when someone describes their sleep attire as "comfy jammies". This is a public service announcement. I am going to provide this list of words that I hate so that you will never use them in my presence. Here goes it:
-make love or lovemaking
-human (when pronounced without the h sound)
-meal
-the girls (when women are referring to their boobs)
-lol

That's funny because as I was typing this I thought I would find so many more words that I hated. Not so much. And because I know you are dying to find out, my very favorite word of all time is transportation. I have loved that word since I was a little kid. You have to say it out loud to get the full effect.

Update on mh1 and soccer: she made it through the whole game today without crying. She even ran a little bit.

Bloggers on the hustle!

First off let me explain the title for my dad. Dad, this means, Bloggers making that money! Now that we have gotten that out of the way- One of the blogs that I enjoy reading @ bethsjourney.com. This girl blogs about health and fitness and I have gotten a lot of great ideas from her as far recipes, exercise, motivation, whatnot and whathaveyou. She is promoting Vitalicious on her blog and is sponsoring a giveaway. I got so excited about the giveaway I totally didn't follow directions. I was supposed to visit the Vitalicious website and choose the flavor that I would most like to try. Instead, I just told her I wanted to try them all.

So how are "bloggers on the hustle"? By getting to promote products like Vitalicious. I want to be a baller on the internet. I want to try free products and giveaway free stuff. I want to wear Versace and Gucci and wear them on the red carpet for the designers. As if.

The thing is, I can promote the heck out of some stuff- to my 9 faithful followers. Just try me.

Something that makes me crazy

I went to pick up the mini-humans this afternoon and was totally disgusted by what I saw. First off, I was already disgusted with myself because I was having some serious digestive problems that my boss let me leave early for, but I was even more disgusted when I pulled up to the daycare. Apparently the director of the daycare turned 40 today. I have seen ridiculous "practical jokes" (why is it called practical anyway? what is so practical about a joke? I digress- I love saying that- wait I digressed again) where they put like a million birds in someone's yard and a sign that says, "Dang, SoAndSo is an old crow!", but today was something different. The first thing that I noticed was that there were a bunch of flamigos in the yard. What the crap does turning 40 have to do with flamigos? The second thing that I noticed was a picture of the director on a sign that read, "SoAndSo (do you like how I am protecting her identity) is turning 40!" Another sign read, "SoAndSo turned 40! Her parent aren't that old!" What the fric does that even mean? The sign that really got my goose was "SoAndSo, it's time for your mammogram." That is not funny to me...at all. Actually, I think it is totally disrespectful and insensitive. I have tried to wrap my head around the reason that is upsetted me. It's really not that big of a deal, and it was only a joke. I understand it was meant in good fun, but joking about mammograms isn't funny to me. It reminds me of that cutesie saying, "Save the Tatas!" That really makes me angry, too. Breast cancer awareness is about raising awareness to get more funding to research breast cancer treatment, and to raise awareness for women to take precautionary measures such as; monthly self exams and MAMMOGRAMS. This isn't about saving tits, it's about LIFE. This isn't about making Mammograms one of those things that makes women feel old, it's about prevention and early intervention. Making mammograms into something that conflicts with a woman's vanity is totally unacceptable.

On a lighter note, my favorite song right now is, "Dog Days are Over" by Florence + The Machine. Check it.

Giveaway

Before I get to the giveaway, enjoy the following conversation I overheard this morning while I was laying in bed.
mh1: Ahhhh, Daddy, Yaya called me, "Stupid man!" (Keep in mind "stupid" is considered a word that is totally off limits in our house)
TLB: Well, are you a man?
mh1: No
TLB: Then, who cares?

That made me laugh.

So, onto the giveaway. This idea came about when I was thinking about how much TLB loves Derby. He loves it so much, when he finds out that some people don't go because it costs too much, he considers paying for them to go. In his mind, the more people there, the better of a time he'll have. So, he doesn't want anyone not to go because they can't afford it. I have to remind him, that we aren't rich (we might actually be living right above the poverty line) and we have yet to pay anyone else's admission. I think we are going to do things differently this year. I am going to run a contest. One winner will receive a paid admission to the infield on Derby 2011. The winner will be picked based on their ability to describe their contributions to our community amd desire to attend the Derby. Creativity of their submission will also be judged. Entries must be made via permanent product such as video or written submission. I haven't discussed this with The Lawn Boy but I am sure he will enjoy this. As we get closer to Derby season, I will advertise more about the contest. I do need a contest name.

I think it's nature in the whole nature vs. nurture argument

I am going to try and take a frustrating experience and turn it into a funny experience because I am in touch with my feelings like that. Anywho, mh1 started soccer a few weeks ago. She has had 2 practices and the first game was yesterday. The first practice consisted of The Lawn Boy taking her while I stayed home with mh2 & 3. It was supposed to be an hour long practice but really it was just a coach (a guy that has never played soccer and is coaching out of the kindness of his heart) telling kids (using a very nice voice) to run around for a few minutes and then stop and take a water break, then run around for a few minutes, and then take another break, and then call it a night. There are a whole lot of problems with this. For one thing, mh1 stayed velcroed to her father's leg during the first half of the practice. When he finally eased himself away from her, the "coach" called for a break. So, mh1 comes over to get a drink of water. The water had this miraculous ability to turn her back into velcro. So the process starts all over again. The following Friday, the whole family attended the practice. Before practice started TLB kicked the ball around with mh1 for a few minutes. She was a superstar. She is fast, agile, and happy. She was eager to please her Daddy so she played well enough that I heard a mother close to me say, "That little girl is good." As soon as practice started she turned from fast, agile, and happy to slow, whiny, and defiant. She refused to play and I didn't have a lot of sympathy for the only drama queen on the field that was crying. I yelled to her to stop crying and get going. I could hear the judgement in the air. All of the other perfect mothers were encouraging their children with, "Way to go!" and "Good job!" while I was steaming with embarassment and frustration. Fastforward to game day. Before the game I leaned down to mh1, looked her in the eye and told her, "You are the fastest kid on that team. When you are running, beat them." And what did she do once we got to the field? What did that athletic, fast, agile child o' mine do? Cry.

9-10-04

One- the number of people God choose for me

Two- the number of dogs we've had together

Three- the number of beautiful mini-humans that we have created together

Four- the number of years ago that I made a career change and started my Master's, I doubted myself several times, but he never did

Five- the number of times that I have wanted to punch him in the face (times 10)

Six- the number of years since I made the best decision of my life

The Adams Family

I was trying to think of a tv family that is most like mine, but I couldn't come up with anything but the Adam's family. They aren't really like mine, so I am going to build a mixture of tv characters that most closely resemble my family members, giving us a mosaic tv family. The following is a list of people who were at my Grandma's for Labor Day dinner.

Me- Claire Danes from My So Called Life, only not so much teen angst...actually we are nothing alike. Really, I just like Jordan Catalano (her love interest) so I am her.

The Lawn Boy- oooh, that is definitely going to have to be David Beckham. Yeah, I know he's not a tv character, but this is my family, so shut it.

mh1- Tinker Bell (who wouldn't want a Fairy for a kid)

mh2- The Tazmanian Devil...enough said

mh3- are there any baby vampires on tv?

My Nana- do you remember the secretary on Splash? (She accidently wore her bra on the outside of her shirt)- My Nana is a mixture of her and Ozzie Ozbourne. The incoherent curse words and ramblings occurs at every dinner. She actually called me "Arty" (that's my Dad) twice today and didn't even realize it. What's weird is that I knew she was talking to me and I had my back turned so it wasn't even like I knew because we made eye contact. I should have a problem with the fact that she is calling me someone that is 20 years older than me, 6 in. taller, 80 lbs. heavier, oh yeah, and male, but I don't cause she's crazy, so I went ahead and answered her.

My Pa- he would have to be one of the guys from King of the Hill. I've never even seen that show but I imagine trucker hats and country accents, then he comes to mind.

My Dad- He would best be fitted by a mix of Dr. Huxtable and The Monk. He is a family man, smart, funny and quirky (borderline Asperger's).

My Aunt- She is a thinner version of Dog the Bounty Hunter's Wife with dark hair.

My Uncle- He could totally fit in at Oz or as one of Brad's Pitt's friends in 12 Monkeys.

My cousin- a mix of any character from Laguna Beach mixed with any of the bratty kids from Super Nanny.

Can you imagine how much fun family dinners are for us?