I have nothing to say

I feel like writing so I just will, though it will be a stream of consciousness that you may find boring.

Things I am grateful for:

Automatic coffee makers

Family like my sister, brother in law, and future sister in law that take time out of their Friday nights to watch my girls hoop

I watched the most exciting game of basketball I have ever seen in my life (and if you know me, you know I watch a lot of bball), the game I watched to night was played by 5 & 6 year olds (mh1 scored 4 pts!)

My cousin working at my job now, it's weird how he got put there and I am happy I get to see him each day

The colleagues that I have going through principal certification with me

My phone that has last for over 2 years, even though people make fun of me for using a Blackberry

Hot water that allows for long baths so I can read in the tub each night 

Currently reading:

Alas, Babylon (unbeknownst to me when I started, it is one of my Dad's favorite books).  I am not far in and I love it already

Currently playing in my iPod:

The Black Crowes

Music that I would like to own but have yet to acquire:

The Weeknd

Plans for the weekend:

Watch the girls hoop it up tomorrow

Workout

Watch UofL's women's team hoop it up on Sunday

Things I want:

Still trying to lose that last 10lbs

A gun (possible)

A son (impossible)

If you could change careers what you do?  I would be a singer.  I was singing PYT to the girls the other night and dancing around only like I can.  I asked them if they thought I could be a winner of American Idol.  They said that I could beat Phil Phillips.  What!What!   I take that back, I would probably be a farmer, except I don't want to farm.  I just want to live there and eat all fresh foods grown/raised there.

Places I want to visit:

My friend Ty in Cali (I've only gotten as far west in the USA as 44th street here- just kidding I used to live in Bowling Green, KY but that's as far as I've gone)

My friend Katie in DC (been there once and it was a blast, we were without children then)

My friend Andrew in Taiwan (never been east of Myrtle Beach)

Release by Pearl Jam touches my soul as if I can truly feel a physical response. Speaking of Pearl Jam, when I was in high school I fantasized that when I got old enough I would find Eddie and he would want to marry me.  I even cut out a picture of my face and placed it over his new bride's picture when I found their wedding photo in a magazine.  As an adult I realize how much of weirdo he is but I still think he's wonderful.

The Ex and I saw Gangster Squad.  The Ex didn't like it, he said it was "too predictable".  I thought it was a decent flick, but that was because I think Emma Stone is pretty good and because Ryan Gosling is God's gift and he could perform in a film that just consisted of him walking down a sidewalk over and over and I would still think it was a Golden Globe winner.

I don't think anyone realizes how weird I really am- not even my own parents.  And by "weird"  I don't mean child molester or "I like to eat chalk", I mean things like- I am terribly afraid of tsunamis yet I live no where near the ocean. 

Hilarious website:
www.whitewine.com

Hilarious person to follow on Twitter:
@HelenKeller (I thought she was dead but then I found her on Twitter)

Random thought:
Why do women always compete with one another?  In everything!  Mostly in motherhood, marriage, and how we dress.  It's weird.  I admit to the marriage and dress but I don't compete when it comes to the kids, cause mine are freaking weird and I know it.

I know this wasn't the most interesting post but this does give you a glimpse of what goes through my mind at any given moment- one more thing, you should try kumquats if you ever see them at the grocery. They are so good!  Very sore on first bite but once you chew through the rind (and just pop the whole thing in your mouth), it is very sweet.  (See what I mean, random crap that nobody else thinks of or cares about comes in my head ALL OF THE TIME)

source

Joy

This is something that I read on Facebook today, "Super excited for B*******'s 1st indoor softball tournament this weekend but seriously how am I going to smoke:( #extrameds "  Shout out to Jamie (hope you don't care that I used this).  This really made me laugh.

I blog a lot about how crazy my kids make me, but there are times when they bring me the most perfect, complete joy.  What's crazy about the joy that they bring me is that sometimes it lasts for only a fleeting moment...in that moment I feel so overfilled that it overtakes any frustration, heartache, and weary bones that I have ever had because of them.

I will share with you one of those moments.  I have told you that the girls have started playing basketball.  There are 10 kids on the team (3 of them are girls).  My two children are the worst players on the team.  Yes- you read that correctly, they are the worst players on the team and I readily admit it.  That being said, when they do something right (this happens like 1 time per game and it is something as simple as trying to get the ball), my heart fills with the pride that I am sure is equivalent to what Michael Phelp's mother felt during the Olympics.  I am not exaggerating nor do I discount my feelings.  I really feel that proud.  Anyway, tonight, mh1 got ahold of a loose ball.  She took a few dribbles heading straight for the goal.  She found the distance in which she knew that she felt confident and she took it up STRONG.  She got fouled and headed to the free throw line.  She missed her first shot but she didn't loose her cool.  When she went for the 2nd I thought I might pass out.  When she actually hit the 2nd, I jumped out of my seat and screamed like a maniac along with the rest of our friends and family.  I was so stinkin' happy that I actually got teared up.  Teared up to the point that I had to leave the gym because I was afraid if I didn't leave, I would get to snottin' and hiccuppin' and smearin' my mascara.  So, I walked away from the crowd (I did hear a few giggles from the ones that knew I was crying like a weirdo stalker mom).  I had to spend the next 2 minutes watching that sweet, long legged, long haired, skinny, smart mouth, oldest baby of mine through a window for fear of embarrassing myself.

And when I say the worse player- this is what I mean:  Tonight I had to yell at mh1 to "Get serious!"  Do you know how ridiculous that sounds when watching a group of 6 and 7 year olds play basketball?  But what I really wanted to yell was, "Stop having so much fun!"  I knew this would be extreme so I refrained.  When I was telling The Ex what I really wanted to yell he says (very seriously)- "You need to relax.   What's wrong with her dancing and slapping herself in the face".

Under Pressure

FIRST:  You MUST  Play this song in the background while you are reading (it will really set the mood)

I was chit chatting with some other moms (shout out to Jamie, Tracy, Crystal, Michelle, Dara!) on Facebook, that are as crazy as I am (and willing to admit it).  They were telling me that they enjoy reading this blog.  People say it's funny, but I don't think that's why they like to read.  I think it's because I put all of my inadequacies, as a mother and wife, on a public forum.  I make them feel better about themselves because I obviously have a few screws loose and it makes them realize there are other wackos like themselves out there.  See, they go to Pinterest and they start feeling all bad about themselves because they can't put Big Bird on cupcakes, keep their spices organized, or build a shoe rack out of used tires (I have no idea if that's possible but it seems like on Pinterest ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE).  Or these ladies (just like me) see other women on Facebook all happy and kissing their kids and playing patty cake and going to the zoo while making an all organic dinner from the fresh vegetables that they picked from the Farmer's Market themselves.   The problem with Pinterest and those other moms is that  it is UNREALISTIC.  I am serious when I say, my kids are lucky to be bathed, fed, and talked to all in one day.  Keeping up with a household is STRESSFUL and can make you feel inadequate.  This is especially true when you are keeping up a household WHILE working and/or going to school.  I was texting with a friend last night and asked if she wanted to get together anytime soon.  She said something like; "Between work, basketball practice, the new house, and school, I just don't think I'll have time".  I totally understand because I live that same life.  We all do.  My other friend (Hey Nikki!) has been trying to meet up with me for months and I had to cancel on her twice this week!  She said something like, "Life happens".  She is so right!

Thinking about all this made me think about the different pressures us girls are under at different points in our lives.  I don't know if this is the same for you, but this is how it went for me:

Birth to 8 years old:  Don't think there is much

8yrs to 11yrs:  A slight understanding of the world begins here.  The pressure to keep up when your little naive heart doesn't really know what's going on around them but knows that there is something.  For instance, I heard my mom having sex when I was in 3rd grade and I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole next day.  I wasn't sure what happened, but I thought I knew what happened and it was confusing.

11-13yrs:  AWKWARD!  I had no boobs, a chunky baby fat belly, stringy hair, and crooked teeth.  The pressure was to be cool but I had no idea how.  I wanted to play with dolls AND talk to my friends on the phone about boys.

13-18yrs: The pressure is like this:  Does he  like me? Does he think I am pretty?  Why doesn't he call me back? I hate my ears.  What if I don't make the team?  What if I don't pass my driver's test?  I hate her.  She hates me.  He hates me.  I hate him.  The only person that understands me is him.  He'll never understand me!  I'll never love anyone the way that I love him!  I can't wait to marry him!  I never want to talk to him again!  (you get it- you remember?!)

18-24yrs:  These were the simplest years of my life.  I must say the most "pressure free" (my only pressure was to study).  I was in college, I was confident in myself but I still had my dad to run to at any moment.  I had freedom from responsibility but I still felt like a "grown up".  This was my physical prime, yet I sadly didn't know it then.

24-30yrs:  Pressure to figure out these people we call our babies

30-40:  Pressure to keep up with other women!  I refuse.  Sometimes I feel it (like when I'm on Pinterest or reading about someone's phony Facebook life), but most times I just acknowledge that there are other mothers that are doing better than me (like keeping clothes ironed and teaching their kids Chinese) but I am doing the best that I can (most of the time) and just have to keep it movin'.  Sometimes I just suck at life, but most of the time, I really try.

Whenever you are down for a Pinterest Revolution let me know.  Instead of homemade hand decorated wreaths for your front door, we'll post instructions on how to properly whoop your child's @ss, or how to pound a 40 like the professionals we all once were.

Love to all you crazos out there like me!

Happy New Year!

I woke up this morning (hangover free) and looked at all of the pictures from everyone's New Year's Eve partying (which looked like fun).  I also saw a lot of people say things like, "I'm in my PJs and on the couch before midnight, I'm old."  I disagree with the old part.  I was in bed and sleeping before midnight.  It is not because I am old.  I am content and there really wasn't anything better to do.

On New Year's Eve, I laid around most of the day, then at 4pm, The Ex and I took a shower (separately), I put on a little bit of make up and we headed East.  Sadly, there are no restaurants worth eating at in this end of town (especially if you have taken the time to wear makeup).  We took back a jacket I got from Dick's then we went to BJ's.  I had a beer, we ordered appetizers, our main course, and dessert!  (This was special because usually we don't order appetizers AND dessert, it's one or the other)  You have to get their pizookie.  It's worth going there just for that.     Our waiter was a young dude that kept calling me ma'am and Jason sir.  He would say things like, "How was your first and second course" or "Can I entice you with a blah, blah, blah".  I wanted to be like, "Homie, you ain't gotta do all that for us, just bring me the egg rolls."

After that we went to my sister's house and hung out for a little bit with her and her friends (my brother in law  and future sister-in-law was there, too).  They were all going out later but we went home.   We were sleeping before the ball even dropped.  I have no regrets or question wondering if I missed something.  It wasn't all romantic and magical, but it was comfortable and problem free.  The food was good and the company was entertaining enough.

Today, I have some things that I need to return from Christmas.  Before the miniature humans get home from my mom's, I am going to take those things back.  Then, we will go to the gym with the rest of the city of Louisville (get out of my way to those of you that will start your membership today and quit in 5 weeks, to those of you that will stay and would like a workout buddy to show you around, look me up).  After that, my dad has made dinner for us (I'll spend time there yelling at the kids because they act INSANE when we are at my Dad's.  He lets them get away with too  much and they know it).

It's a simple life, but it's a wonderful life.