I recently received this message, "Little thing in life make me laugh and your blog is one of those. Could you PLEASE update at least one a week??? Just asking!!!!" Sincerely, Bossy B!tch" How many of you have fans like that? I must oblige...
Tonight I decided that I needed to get more into the Christmas spirit. To do this, I got on iTunes and started looking for Christmas songs to download. Mh1 started listening with me and helping me decide on which songs we wanted. You know your irritable when you are trying to do something fun like listen to Christmas music and you have to put in ear buds only allowing for one person (ME) to listen, while blocking out the rest of the chaos that I call family. (By the way, I spent $15...top picks are Celine Dion's O Holy Night, Go Tell it on the Mountain by David Crowder Band, One Little Christmas Tree by Stevie Wonder, Blue Christmas by Elvis and ALL of the Jackson 5 Christmas songs). Mh1 did pick Jingle Bells by Micky Mouse and friends. Too bad I was the only one getting to listen to it.
We got our Elf on the Shelf out yesterday. I started to read the book to them at breakfast this morning (it explains how "Elfie" travels back and forth to let Santa know how you're doing and all that), but instead of listening, all they kept saying was, "Can I have another biscuit?" and "Can I have another piece of bacon?" I slammed the book shut and sat in amazement as I realized I have discipline all WRONG...I need to start punishing them by withholding food.
I realized over the LONG holiday weekend that all a person needs to survive management of small children and tolerance of extended family is wine. Lots and lots of wine. Speaking of wine, I should have taken some in my travel mug when we went to Sam's today. For whatever, my mini humans decided this was a great opportunity to sing at the top of their lungs and touch every single item for sale in the store. I am not a big fan of PDB (kinda like PDA but instead of "affection" insert "beating", so I was resolved to whisper really threatening things in their ears like, "I am getting ready to take you into the bathroom" but then it got to the point that I didn't care who saw or heard me, and I straight up told them in front of God and everybody that I was getting ready to beat them down. Everyone (meaning the people I was threatening) laughed. I made them all stay in the car when I went into Kroger. Take that little kids. (Yes, CPS, their father was in the car with them...I punished him for their creation)
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