Kids that puke

When I signed up for motherhood, I should have had a lawyer present. Before I entered myself in this binding agreement/contract someone should have explained all the small print. I now know what that print reads, and I will be sure to share this with the mini-humans one day. For now, I will share the fine print with you.

CONTRACT OF PROCREATION

***disclaimers: parents will lose;
-sleep (a lot of it)
-breast tissue that is firm
-the ability to go to Kroger without losing one's mind
-the ability to drive a car that has clean carpet or seats
-the ability to drive a CAR...you actually must invest in a minivan or something like it
-time spent laying on the couch, instead you will drive to practices (and watch the toddlers cry because they really don't want to be there), you will break up fights between siblings, cook meals, clean up spilled milk
-the ablity to be cool
-the freedom to listen to whatever you want on the Radio without fear of damaging young minds or destroying precious innocence
-the freedome to watch whatever you want on TV without fear of damaging yound minds or destroying precious innocence
-MONEY (and lots of it, I got my tax statement from daycare...what I spent in childcare last year is equivalent to what a single person could live on for the year)

There is plenty more fine print, but I don't have the time to get it all down. Furthermore (I love saying that), I would sign the contract a million times over if I had to. Even though, no one explained to me that I would be awaken from a deep sleep at 5:30am to clean up vomit on a Sunday morning (and miss church), I would do it over and over again, if that is what I had to do in exchange for seeing their sweet faces everyday for the rest of my life.