Snow days, Dads, and the best dog ever

We are having the biggest snow storm we've had in a whole bunch of years.  My dad wants me to check with The Ex (he's at the fire house) to see how the roads are.  I have no idea where my dad wants to go (probably nowhere, old people just like knowing things, I guess) but he wants me to ask.  I tell my dad he hasn't had any runs so he doesn't know how the roads are...My dad then offers to start a dumpster fire in his district to give him some work.  Wow.

Other stories from the snow...the minihumans BEG me to go and play in the snow.  Let's get something straight here.  I'm not one of those moms that goes and frolics in the snow with her kids building snowmen and all that.  I more of the kind of mom that makes hot chocolate for her kids, but makes some for herself with a splash of vodka and kahlua.  Anyway, after lots of begging we all get bundled up.  (Side note:  the half brained baby tried to go out in a pair of pajama bottoms and rain boots...see why I drink?).  We walk out the door, I start shoveling the walkway (which let's be clear, is totally a man's job but he's not here and I need a job to do while I'm "playing" with the minhumans).  I swear to you, 5 min. in mh3 (aka half brain) says, "I want to go in."  For the love of all things beautiful.  Does she realize there are three of them?!  I just think "F it" and say, "Ok, you little half brain baby, go on in the house."  Why do I hear her a few minutes later crying at the door (I can't see her because I'm down the driveway)...I say, "Half Brain, what's the matter?" She says, "I can't get the door open!"  (Remember I can't see her...only hear her), I say, "Take your gloves off."  (The I hear the door open and close).  How do moms know their kids so well?

All of this makes me realize how blessed I am to have a gang load of kids.  While it's a pain in the arse getting them all ready, feeding them, etc...the good thing is that they entertain each other!  I can be left to such import things as The Wire (thanks for the suggestion Amy!) and my Nook (currently reading Land Line) while they keep up with each other (I throw them some food here and there).  I don't know how people do it that only have 1 child.  That seems like a lot more work (mentally).

My dad and I have been told before that we have a weird sense of humor and that when we're around each other we ignore other people.  Both of us swear we do not intentionally ignore anyone on purpose BUT the things that we think are funny, most would not...here is a text from tonight.  You'll think this is stupid, we could go on forever.

Something funny about my dad AND The Ex.  If you know me, you know that I can get a little crazy about random things.  They're about the only 2 people in the world (besides my baby sister and Amber) that can snap me out of my madness with some good stern words.  For instance;  the other night some transformers blew close to our house.  It was loud, the electricity was out, it was in the middle of the night, it was bright lights in the sky and I could smell smoke.  The Ex laid next to me and let me freak out for a little while (pacing the house, repeatedly looking out the window checking for terrorists (cookoo), listening to the fire scanner, etc.).  Finally, he says very sharply, "Calm down!"  That's all it took to snap me out of it.  Moments like that make me realize, I really can get carried away with weird stuff and usually he just let's me be weird, but sometimes it goes too far and he has to step in.  It's like this:

On a sad note, we had to put our girl down on Saturday.  She was 12 years old and the best dog I've ever known.  It was one of the saddest days of our life.  I asked my friend Josh the other day how we can love our dogs so much.  He said it best, "Because they're so much better than us."

I wrote this about her over 4 years ago, "I heard a while back that German Sheppards never rank #1 in any area (like protection, bite, agility, etc.) but they are 2nd or 3rd in every category. Here is a picture of my 8 year old German Sheppard....

I also have a 5 lb. Yorkie that is 5. They have been together since the Yorkie was a pup. They get in fights (mostly over that ugly red thing she is sitting with), but we always figured, if she hasn't killed the Yorkie yet, he's probably safe. Pisces is the best dog I have ever known (maybe besides good 'ol Pearl Jam). She is protective, smart, and beautiful. She also ignores the kids, I envy her."

I already miss her very, very much but I am so thankful for the time we had with her.

Hello!

I am sure that all of you are in the throes of Christmas shopping like I am.  I did most of my shopping the day after Thanksgiving while sitting on my couch without a bra on.  While I did spend a few hours it was so much easier than going out to shop.  What did people do without the internet?  Speaking of Christmas presents...I heard someone talking about the limit that they put on their spending for their kids.  $500 per child was one amount that I heard.  While you know that I am seriously the least judgmental parent, I have to say I think that's cray cray.  I could definitely find $500 (or more) worth of stuff to buy for each of my girls, but why?  Each of my girls probably gets about $100 or so spent on them.  And, they will be happy with it...or not and if not, I'll just send it back.

New topic:  One of my colleagues and I (Hey Allyson!) were scolded during a training this past week.  (We were talking about work stuff but we weren't paying attention to the presenter).  She was furious about it, I on the other hand, didn't give it a second thought.  She explained that she never gets in trouble and had only one detention her entire life.  This made me laugh.  I have gotten in trouble for talking my entire life.  I also couldn't tell you the number of detentions that I accumulated.  I remember being in "in school suspension" several times in middle school (I don't remember any of the reasons why, except one when I got in trouble for sniffing markers and rubber cement under a table).  I have been suspended off the school bus, and I was in detention a lot in high school for being late to class, talking in class, not bringing my PE uniform to PE, and cutting class.  One time I got in trouble in English class because I told the teacher we should put all of the retarded people on an island so that we would never be threatened with them procreating.  Obviously, I do not think that (nor did I then) and I don't even use the word retarded but apparently I loved p!issing stupid people off (that teacher was a wacko) even when I was a kid. I would do stuff like that all the time, just to get a rise out of people.  I also got put in the STOP program (that's like in school suspension but at another location, it's the step right before actual suspension) for fighting.    As an adult I realize that I am still the same person only I have learned how to control myself (most times).   I am telling you all of this because mh2 is the same person (hopefully she won't fight) so I have an idea of what to expect.  How I will handle it, is the question.  My dad pretty much didn't care about my behavior as long as I had good grades.  He always expected me to be respectful but he left me alone because my grades were good.  Some of the students I work with make me laugh because they remind me of myself (the biggest difference is that I had someone at home who loved me and made me feel safe while a lot of the kids with the biggest behavior issues do not).  I think this is why I so much enjoy kids with behavior problems, I can relate to them (only I didn't try to fight any of my teachers nor was I openly disrespectful), I can especially relate to the ADHD kids that are unorganized and get distracted easily.

The girls and I are going to attempt a Pinterest craft for Christmas presents for my sister, mom, and Mother-in-law.  As you know, I am not a crafty person and this may go terribly wrong.  Hopefully none of my children are murdered in the process. I can't tell you what it is because they gift receivers are probably reading this but I'll post the shameful pics after Christmas so you can laugh at my sorry attempt at being creative.

Random things:

• I am reading Outer Dark by Cormac McCarthy right now, good book by my favorite author
• My favorite song right now is All the Time by The Bahamas (my dad says it sucks and sounds like a wanna be Prince song)  See below
• Earlier this week I received Piyo in the mail so that I can stay home but workout in the mornings before work.  It's a mix of Pilates and Yoga and it makes me realize how truly inflexible I am.  If you ever want to have a good laugh, come by my house at about 6am.  
• I am still slingin' mascara, if you're interested they make great Christmas presents

I don't have anything else to talk about so I guess I'll sign off.  I think of stuff to write about all the time, but I forget to write it down so it leaves my brain and then I'm left with random boring crap to talk about, so I don't write.  

One more thing;  I have had many applications for memberships to the I Don't Give a F Club.  They have all been accepted.  This has by far been the favored blog post and if you are interested in reading more about that you can here.  

Long time no write

It has been since March that I have posted!  I didn't realize it had been so long.  I haven't had anything to say, but now I do!

Yesterday I signed up to be a Presenter through Younique!  You can read about the company here but basically it's make-up!  More importantly, it's MASCARA.  3D Mascara!

Most of you know I have little baby eyelashes.  I spend a sh!t ton of money at MAC (well, I used to) and I still don't have the dramatic lashes that I've always wanted.  (I actually did have fabulous lashes at my wedding...but they were GLUED on).  Once I tried this, I was hooked!  No more MAC for me and no more little baby lashes.

GET YOUR NEW GORGEOUS LASHES HERE!!!!

If you want to earn FREE makeup hit me up so that you can host you own party!  It's so EASY!  It's all on Facebook! 

Once I'm out of bed and have my face on, I'll post pics of my before and after of my lashes.

Obsessive

Sometimes I think about things and instead of being thoughts they become obsessions.  I probably have some type of mental illness...I've written about my various "interests" here.  Today I am obsessing over the dumb crap about banning the word "bossy".  For real, for real:  I've been called bossy my whole life.  You know what, I am.  I always think I know what's best about everything.  I find it confusing/amusing when I am actually wrong about something.  I know this about myself and I try to remember that it is ok when someone doesn't agree with me or do what I want them to do.   I've decided all these people that don't like the word, have never been called bossy.  I bet you that women that are in leadership positions have at some point been called bossy, because guess what?  They probably are!  They're good at telling people what to do and they probably were when they were little girls!

I'm going to go ahead and blow your minds here:  I hate to break your hearts but men are usually better in leadership positions.  You know why?  They don't things personally.  So, there are more men in charge because they are typically better at it- not because a bunch of little girls were called bossy in 1960 shutting down their personalities ending their future of being a CEO.   P.S. You know where I'm best at being bossy? At my house- where I run this mother trucker!  The Ex is good at things, but I'm like really awesome at running the Strange household.  Furthermore, if anyone told me that I was good at running my household I would be flattered because it's the most important job I've ever or will ever have.  I'll leave running companies to men.  Go ahead and get over your false cry of sexism.  While your boo hooing, I'll write about something else....

I'm reading 2 books right now:  The Life of Jesus According to Biff.  Hilarious but sacrilegious.  Also reading The Husband's Secret.  Why 2 at once you ask?  Depends on the mood I'm in when I read.  Plus, I've been starting a lot of books lately without finishing them.

Let's see what else, I can think of....I had a birthday yesterday.  It was good.  I got an awesome new pair of rain boots from The Ex.  So I can give you a guarantee that Derby will be beautiful because I have new boots to wear.  If I didn't have boots it would rain, you're welcome.

Mh1 turned 8 the other day.  She had a good one.  She's starting her first year of softball and so far...she's really bad at it.  It's all good though, she's having fun and she'll get stronger and better as the season goes on.  She wants to do well and she's got a really good coach and some super cheerleaders.  I'm happy to watch her and I'm proud no matter what.

Mh3 turned 4 a few weeks ago.  That's really sad because she really isn't a baby anymore.  We still call her, "The baby" and she'll probably have that name the rest of her life.  She's still as funny as ever and she still makes my soul sing.

My club

I originally wrote this like a month ago and never posted it...

If you know me very well you know that I don't really give a F.  For instance tonight I went to Kroger for oreo cookies winter survival food and I was dressed like a homeless person.  See:

I wore the hoody because I already had that on and the sweat pants.  Right before I left (in regular shoes) The Ex said, "Your sweat pants are going to get wet."  So, I changed out of my Birkenstocks and tucked my pants in these ugly green boots that I love.  The blanket thingy you see if actually really cute, but not on top of a Broncos hoody.  Anyway, my point is:  I don't give a F.  When people looked at me in the grocery as if I was a mentally deranged person, I felt a surge of pride.  So, I am the president of the I-don't-give-a-F club.  It has a few members:

Me:  you see the outfit above?  That happens a lot.  I was known in college to get up for class, brush my teeth and head to whatever class I was going to.  This is before cutesy Victoria Secret yoga/pajama pants.  They were like the ugly flannel Walmart men's pajama bottoms and a WKU t-shirt.  No make up, no brush in my hair, and whatever random pair of shoes was closest to my dorm room exit.  

The Ex:  he wears things like black dress socks up to his knees with shorts to lift weights.  He also wore this hat for like 10 years:

He obviously doesn't give a F, so he's in.

mh1:  To the UofL women's game yesterday she wore a UofL t-shirt, nylon running pants (so far, so good) and knee high leather boots with the pants tucked in them.  She doesn't give a F, so she's in the club, too.

mh2:  I can't even begin to describe the things she's willing to wear.  The more it doesn't match, the more apt she is to wear it.  She doesn't give a F, she's in.

My dad:  We went to Olive Garden last night.  He wore a pair of 3-D glasses that you get for free at the movies... with the lenses out. (He also took the time to sharpie the "3d" words on the sides so they looked more "real".  He's been wearing them for like 3 days.  

You think he gives a F?  Nah.  

Pisces (my dog):  She gets in the kitchen garbage when I'm not home and sometimes eats turds in the backyard....she really doesn't give a F.

People in my family that aren't in the club:

mh3:  Her little 3-year-old self likes to wear dresses and match (though she has been known to wear athletic socks with patent leather dress shoes)...she's not in the club but I'll continue to monitor her level of giving a F to see if one day she can enter.  Either way, she's cute.

Baby S:  When she gives a F, she really gives a F.  She's so pretty when she does care, that it makes up for the times she doesn't (so I'm not sure if she's in or not).  On second thought, my little baby nieces are always cute and dressed so precious.  She's out.

My mom:  She's too pretty to be in the club.

If you are interested in becoming a member, you cannot be one of those people that forces their kids to wear what you tell them.  You have to be like me and just be happy when they are dressed and ready to go. (Don't worry, if they're dressed too crazy- when you're out in public just pretend like you don't know them, like I do).   If your child has a  hair bow for every outfit, you cannot be in the club.  If you force your son or daughter to wear clothes that he can't play in for the sake of being cute, you cannot join.  If you are a dude and use an umbrella, you're out.  Or if you're a dude and drive a sports car, automatic rejection of your application on the premise that you give too many Fs.

Look, I'm not saying my club is the best, but low maintenance is usually less stressful.  While my kids aren't always the cutest dressed, when it comes to getting ready I don't stress about wardrobe.  As long as you are dressed for the weather and the activity, we're good.  I also feel like less emphasis on their appearance is better for their self esteem in the long run.  I am hoping this cultivates their desire to focus on what is on the inside.  And, don't get me wrong, dressing appropriately is important but stressing about it, isn't.

 

 

Things going on in my life at the moment :

• The Ex just got promoted to purple belt in BJJ.  He's awesome, I'm proud. 
• The Ex is about to lay hard wood floors in our house.  We just have to pick it out.  I think I'm going with Brazilian cherry.
• My Dad just sent me some Fleetwood Mac songs and I have "Over my Head" on repeat
• I just recently discovered Calvin Harris.  God bless the Scots.  If I would have known of him 10 years ago I might have reconsidered who would father my children.  See below:

Escape Night

This post started off with random thoughts and then I came up with a new term....

• Song that's in my head right now:

• But I'm listening to Lorde on my iTunes right now.  FYI...all the songs on her album sound the same but I still like it.  Tennis Court is my favorite.
• I just watched Wish You Were Here on Netflix.  It's good, check it.
• I usually read everyday but I haven't read in the last few days.  It's because I am reading Wicked and I can't get into it.  I need something else to read.  Right now I have Fracture (thanks to Crystal!) and Havisham (the prelude to one of my very favorite books Great Expectations) waiting to be read.
• The end of my Christmas break is coming near.  I am going to be so tired when I go back to work because I like to stay up until after midnight and not get up until 10.  Today, I didn't take a shower or put on a bra.    It seems like the only time I put on makeup or get "dressed" is when I go to work.  I should always work because if I didn't I would end up looking like a homeless crackhead all of the time.  Plus, my poor husband only gets to see me out of sweat pants and with a bra on when I am going to my job-e-job.
• You know what I hate???  I hate when married people talk about going on dates.  You's a lie.  Y'all ain't dating!  You're going out to eat food without a bunch of kids bothering you.  Dates are for single people.  The Ex and I are going out to eat and to a movie tomorrow night.  We aren't dating-   we are ESCAPING!!!  Let me explain...we get in the car with the 3 mini humans, we drive to my Dad's...we slow down long enough that they can jump out without getting injured.  We drive away fast enough that he can't change his mind...we have ESCAPED!  So, from now on it's called Escape Night.  Anyway, tomorrow night we have Escape night. We're going to sushi and a movie.  I'll put on a bra and deodorant.

2013 in Review

Some of the things that went down for us this year:

Your girl:

• Started BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at Derby City Mixed Martial Arts) and I love it (still terrible at it but still working)
• Competed in my first BJJ tournament in June 
• Conquered the rope climb at the gym
• Saw Bruno Mars in concert (with one of my favorite girls Sadie-Leigh)
• Got hired to a do a different job at work and it's pretty awesome (I still miss my old friends/students)

The Ex:

• Just saved a few lives...no big deal
• Won a silver metal in the same BJJ tournament I competed in

MH1

• Got all Os on her report card all year
• Made the cross country team and straight KILLT it (even got 4th place in one of the races this season)

MH2

• Perfected her cartwheel (if you have ever been around the child for any period of time you know she does no less than 100 per day)
• Lost a few teeth
• Is killing 1st grade

MH3

• Learned to write her name
• Sings the heck out of "The Name Game", especially when you ask her to use the word sucker 

Cool things we did as a family in 2013:

• Trained BJJ together
• Went on an awesome vacation to Florida with awesome friends
• Went to Holiday World
• Went to The Beach Water Park
• Saw Big Boi in concert
• Went to the Broncos/Colts game

Some numbers for you:

• I gave approximately 547 baths (3 kids approx. every other day)
• I did approximately 365 loads of laundry (about one a day)
• Kissed a face at least 2000 times (4 people at least once a day everyday)

Something to think about:  I really don't understand everyone that is all like, "2013 sucked, ready for 2014" or "2013 was awesome, ready for 2014".  I don't spend too much time worrying about what was good or bad.  Sure, there were some bullcrap that went down in 2013 and there was some awesome stuff that I'm thankful for, but it was what it was.  I hope 2014 is awesome but I hope tomorrow is awesome.  I'll take each day as it comes.  So, since I don't have any official resolutions, I did tell The Ex I was going to clean the house tomorrow, does that count?

For all of you planning your 2014, I feel like this is the perfect time to share my very favorite bible verse (Phillippians 4:6-7) Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition with thanksgiving send your requests to God.