I have nothing to say

I feel like writing so I just will, though it will be a stream of consciousness that you may find boring.

Things I am grateful for:

Automatic coffee makers

Family like my sister, brother in law, and future sister in law that take time out of their Friday nights to watch my girls hoop

I watched the most exciting game of basketball I have ever seen in my life (and if you know me, you know I watch a lot of bball), the game I watched to night was played by 5 & 6 year olds (mh1 scored 4 pts!)

My cousin working at my job now, it's weird how he got put there and I am happy I get to see him each day

The colleagues that I have going through principal certification with me

My phone that has last for over 2 years, even though people make fun of me for using a Blackberry

Hot water that allows for long baths so I can read in the tub each night 

Currently reading:

Alas, Babylon (unbeknownst to me when I started, it is one of my Dad's favorite books).  I am not far in and I love it already

Currently playing in my iPod:

The Black Crowes

Music that I would like to own but have yet to acquire:

The Weeknd

Plans for the weekend:

Watch the girls hoop it up tomorrow

Workout

Watch UofL's women's team hoop it up on Sunday

Things I want:

Still trying to lose that last 10lbs

A gun (possible)

A son (impossible)

If you could change careers what you do?  I would be a singer.  I was singing PYT to the girls the other night and dancing around only like I can.  I asked them if they thought I could be a winner of American Idol.  They said that I could beat Phil Phillips.  What!What!   I take that back, I would probably be a farmer, except I don't want to farm.  I just want to live there and eat all fresh foods grown/raised there.

Places I want to visit:

My friend Ty in Cali (I've only gotten as far west in the USA as 44th street here- just kidding I used to live in Bowling Green, KY but that's as far as I've gone)

My friend Katie in DC (been there once and it was a blast, we were without children then)

My friend Andrew in Taiwan (never been east of Myrtle Beach)

Release by Pearl Jam touches my soul as if I can truly feel a physical response. Speaking of Pearl Jam, when I was in high school I fantasized that when I got old enough I would find Eddie and he would want to marry me.  I even cut out a picture of my face and placed it over his new bride's picture when I found their wedding photo in a magazine.  As an adult I realize how much of weirdo he is but I still think he's wonderful.

The Ex and I saw Gangster Squad.  The Ex didn't like it, he said it was "too predictable".  I thought it was a decent flick, but that was because I think Emma Stone is pretty good and because Ryan Gosling is God's gift and he could perform in a film that just consisted of him walking down a sidewalk over and over and I would still think it was a Golden Globe winner.

I don't think anyone realizes how weird I really am- not even my own parents.  And by "weird"  I don't mean child molester or "I like to eat chalk", I mean things like- I am terribly afraid of tsunamis yet I live no where near the ocean. 

Hilarious website:
www.whitewine.com

Hilarious person to follow on Twitter:
@HelenKeller (I thought she was dead but then I found her on Twitter)

Random thought:
Why do women always compete with one another?  In everything!  Mostly in motherhood, marriage, and how we dress.  It's weird.  I admit to the marriage and dress but I don't compete when it comes to the kids, cause mine are freaking weird and I know it.

I know this wasn't the most interesting post but this does give you a glimpse of what goes through my mind at any given moment- one more thing, you should try kumquats if you ever see them at the grocery. They are so good!  Very sore on first bite but once you chew through the rind (and just pop the whole thing in your mouth), it is very sweet.  (See what I mean, random crap that nobody else thinks of or cares about comes in my head ALL OF THE TIME)

source

Joy

This is something that I read on Facebook today, "Super excited for B*******'s 1st indoor softball tournament this weekend but seriously how am I going to smoke:( #extrameds "  Shout out to Jamie (hope you don't care that I used this).  This really made me laugh.

I blog a lot about how crazy my kids make me, but there are times when they bring me the most perfect, complete joy.  What's crazy about the joy that they bring me is that sometimes it lasts for only a fleeting moment...in that moment I feel so overfilled that it overtakes any frustration, heartache, and weary bones that I have ever had because of them.

I will share with you one of those moments.  I have told you that the girls have started playing basketball.  There are 10 kids on the team (3 of them are girls).  My two children are the worst players on the team.  Yes- you read that correctly, they are the worst players on the team and I readily admit it.  That being said, when they do something right (this happens like 1 time per game and it is something as simple as trying to get the ball), my heart fills with the pride that I am sure is equivalent to what Michael Phelp's mother felt during the Olympics.  I am not exaggerating nor do I discount my feelings.  I really feel that proud.  Anyway, tonight, mh1 got ahold of a loose ball.  She took a few dribbles heading straight for the goal.  She found the distance in which she knew that she felt confident and she took it up STRONG.  She got fouled and headed to the free throw line.  She missed her first shot but she didn't loose her cool.  When she went for the 2nd I thought I might pass out.  When she actually hit the 2nd, I jumped out of my seat and screamed like a maniac along with the rest of our friends and family.  I was so stinkin' happy that I actually got teared up.  Teared up to the point that I had to leave the gym because I was afraid if I didn't leave, I would get to snottin' and hiccuppin' and smearin' my mascara.  So, I walked away from the crowd (I did hear a few giggles from the ones that knew I was crying like a weirdo stalker mom).  I had to spend the next 2 minutes watching that sweet, long legged, long haired, skinny, smart mouth, oldest baby of mine through a window for fear of embarrassing myself.

And when I say the worse player- this is what I mean:  Tonight I had to yell at mh1 to "Get serious!"  Do you know how ridiculous that sounds when watching a group of 6 and 7 year olds play basketball?  But what I really wanted to yell was, "Stop having so much fun!"  I knew this would be extreme so I refrained.  When I was telling The Ex what I really wanted to yell he says (very seriously)- "You need to relax.   What's wrong with her dancing and slapping herself in the face".

Under Pressure

FIRST:  You MUST  Play this song in the background while you are reading (it will really set the mood)

I was chit chatting with some other moms (shout out to Jamie, Tracy, Crystal, Michelle, Dara!) on Facebook, that are as crazy as I am (and willing to admit it).  They were telling me that they enjoy reading this blog.  People say it's funny, but I don't think that's why they like to read.  I think it's because I put all of my inadequacies, as a mother and wife, on a public forum.  I make them feel better about themselves because I obviously have a few screws loose and it makes them realize there are other wackos like themselves out there.  See, they go to Pinterest and they start feeling all bad about themselves because they can't put Big Bird on cupcakes, keep their spices organized, or build a shoe rack out of used tires (I have no idea if that's possible but it seems like on Pinterest ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE).  Or these ladies (just like me) see other women on Facebook all happy and kissing their kids and playing patty cake and going to the zoo while making an all organic dinner from the fresh vegetables that they picked from the Farmer's Market themselves.   The problem with Pinterest and those other moms is that  it is UNREALISTIC.  I am serious when I say, my kids are lucky to be bathed, fed, and talked to all in one day.  Keeping up with a household is STRESSFUL and can make you feel inadequate.  This is especially true when you are keeping up a household WHILE working and/or going to school.  I was texting with a friend last night and asked if she wanted to get together anytime soon.  She said something like; "Between work, basketball practice, the new house, and school, I just don't think I'll have time".  I totally understand because I live that same life.  We all do.  My other friend (Hey Nikki!) has been trying to meet up with me for months and I had to cancel on her twice this week!  She said something like, "Life happens".  She is so right!

Thinking about all this made me think about the different pressures us girls are under at different points in our lives.  I don't know if this is the same for you, but this is how it went for me:

Birth to 8 years old:  Don't think there is much

8yrs to 11yrs:  A slight understanding of the world begins here.  The pressure to keep up when your little naive heart doesn't really know what's going on around them but knows that there is something.  For instance, I heard my mom having sex when I was in 3rd grade and I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole next day.  I wasn't sure what happened, but I thought I knew what happened and it was confusing.

11-13yrs:  AWKWARD!  I had no boobs, a chunky baby fat belly, stringy hair, and crooked teeth.  The pressure was to be cool but I had no idea how.  I wanted to play with dolls AND talk to my friends on the phone about boys.

13-18yrs: The pressure is like this:  Does he  like me? Does he think I am pretty?  Why doesn't he call me back? I hate my ears.  What if I don't make the team?  What if I don't pass my driver's test?  I hate her.  She hates me.  He hates me.  I hate him.  The only person that understands me is him.  He'll never understand me!  I'll never love anyone the way that I love him!  I can't wait to marry him!  I never want to talk to him again!  (you get it- you remember?!)

18-24yrs:  These were the simplest years of my life.  I must say the most "pressure free" (my only pressure was to study).  I was in college, I was confident in myself but I still had my dad to run to at any moment.  I had freedom from responsibility but I still felt like a "grown up".  This was my physical prime, yet I sadly didn't know it then.

24-30yrs:  Pressure to figure out these people we call our babies

30-40:  Pressure to keep up with other women!  I refuse.  Sometimes I feel it (like when I'm on Pinterest or reading about someone's phony Facebook life), but most times I just acknowledge that there are other mothers that are doing better than me (like keeping clothes ironed and teaching their kids Chinese) but I am doing the best that I can (most of the time) and just have to keep it movin'.  Sometimes I just suck at life, but most of the time, I really try.

Whenever you are down for a Pinterest Revolution let me know.  Instead of homemade hand decorated wreaths for your front door, we'll post instructions on how to properly whoop your child's @ss, or how to pound a 40 like the professionals we all once were.

Love to all you crazos out there like me!

Happy New Year!

I woke up this morning (hangover free) and looked at all of the pictures from everyone's New Year's Eve partying (which looked like fun).  I also saw a lot of people say things like, "I'm in my PJs and on the couch before midnight, I'm old."  I disagree with the old part.  I was in bed and sleeping before midnight.  It is not because I am old.  I am content and there really wasn't anything better to do.

On New Year's Eve, I laid around most of the day, then at 4pm, The Ex and I took a shower (separately), I put on a little bit of make up and we headed East.  Sadly, there are no restaurants worth eating at in this end of town (especially if you have taken the time to wear makeup).  We took back a jacket I got from Dick's then we went to BJ's.  I had a beer, we ordered appetizers, our main course, and dessert!  (This was special because usually we don't order appetizers AND dessert, it's one or the other)  You have to get their pizookie.  It's worth going there just for that.     Our waiter was a young dude that kept calling me ma'am and Jason sir.  He would say things like, "How was your first and second course" or "Can I entice you with a blah, blah, blah".  I wanted to be like, "Homie, you ain't gotta do all that for us, just bring me the egg rolls."

After that we went to my sister's house and hung out for a little bit with her and her friends (my brother in law  and future sister-in-law was there, too).  They were all going out later but we went home.   We were sleeping before the ball even dropped.  I have no regrets or question wondering if I missed something.  It wasn't all romantic and magical, but it was comfortable and problem free.  The food was good and the company was entertaining enough.

Today, I have some things that I need to return from Christmas.  Before the miniature humans get home from my mom's, I am going to take those things back.  Then, we will go to the gym with the rest of the city of Louisville (get out of my way to those of you that will start your membership today and quit in 5 weeks, to those of you that will stay and would like a workout buddy to show you around, look me up).  After that, my dad has made dinner for us (I'll spend time there yelling at the kids because they act INSANE when we are at my Dad's.  He lets them get away with too  much and they know it).

It's a simple life, but it's a wonderful life.

2012

I saw a copy of the card that some people on Facebook created.  It was their family's Christmas card and it listed various things that their family did or accomplished in 2012.  I thought it was a really cute idea, but I'm not smart enough to be that creative (plus I'm too lazy to make Christmas cards) so I thought I would do it on here.

2012:
1.  On January 31, 2012- The Ex was hired as a fireman.  It took him 6 years to get on and it was one of the happiest moments of our marriage when he got the call offering him the position.
2.  The Ex finished the Fire Academy and passed his EMT exam (big relief!)
3.  Mh2 started Kindergarten
4.  I went back to school and started my work on getting certified in Administration so that I might be a principal one day (after this degree I will have over 90 graduate degree hours, which is only 30 away from a PhD, probably should have planned that a little better)

This is all I've got.  Short list but FULL.  It sounds cliche but this year has gone by faster than any other year in my life.  It was exciting, stressful, and mostly happy.

Christmas

My vacation started on Friday the 21st.  I spent part of that day at the doctor's office getting my yearly exam.  Most women dread this experience, I, on the other hand, love the peace and quiet of the Dr.'s office. I can't take my kids with me so I can take my Nook.  I sit in the waiting room and read, I socialize with the office staff, and they laugh at me for enjoying my time alone (at the gynecologist).  After that, I went and got my nails done (more time alone)...then it all begins:
Friday:  Drive to Oldham Co. and spend time with my mom's family
Saturday:  Drive to Lodiburg, KY (1 hr 20 min. away) and spend the day with The Ex's family
Sunday:  1:00, take the girls to see the other side of The Ex's family while he is at the fire house, then be back at my house by 4:00 to celebrate with my mom, sister and nieces
Monday:  Make dinner and have The Ex's dad, brother, and brother's girlfriend and son over to celebrate
Tuesday:  Wake up and see what Santa brought, go to Dad's house for breakfast (very different from previous years, a bit somber), go back to my house and prepare to have my Dad's family over

WOW!  Busy, busy, busy!   Though it was NONstop for 5 day and I was SO tired by last night (tired in the way where I was sensitive to every comment that The Ex made, tired like when I got teared up while washing dishes and putting things away) I KNOW how VERY blessed I am to have that much family to spend time with over the holidays.  There are some people that have strained relationships with their family, have no family, or are overseas and cannot see their family.  I am so very lucky to be able to run around like a crazy person and/or entertain at my house.

I got some very nice gifts this year, my favorite gift is either my new DVD Lawless that The Ex bought me, or the marble jewelry box that my uncle made for me by hand.

My Dad bought me some Birkenstocks (they're purple) that I have been wanting since my stepmom bought them for him two years ago.  I also got a men's watch that is huge and manly and I love it.  The Birkenstocks combined with the oversized men's watch prompted my Dad to call me a lesbian.  That's family love on Christmas!

Old stuff

I was looking through some of my old posts and came across several posts that I started but never published. If you are interested here is some of the random crap I was thinking at various times but never finished or shared (when I read this stuff, it's like reading something someone else wrote- I don't remember writing any of it)...

"My reasons" dated 11/8/12

I have seen two comments about republicans in the last two days that I must address.

1. "Always been fascinated that in any state, counties with big cities or institutions of higher learning, vote democrat".
2. "I'm a democrat that voted for Obama, I don't receive welfare and I do pay taxes, and pay for my kids healthcare (no medical card). But according to every republican I know, my entire party is a bunch of welfare sucking, tax evading, abortion having, entitlement seekers. 
   I advise you all not to be so hypocritical and definitely don't classify.an entire group based on a little bit of information.  I understand that not all democrats (and this was all I wrote)

"This Week" dated 10/19/12
I got the urge to write but I don't really have much to talk about.  So, I'll just blab about random things.  

As the election gets closer I get more and more angry.  I start thinking about what is going on in the world and it makes me wonder why I was so lucky to be born as an American.  I know that I am privileged and I also know that I have no idea how privileged I am.  

If you had to pick the person you were voting for based on only one topic, what is the most important topic to you?  The most important issue for me is foreign policy.  That alone is enough for my vote.  

My aunt got the girls a slushy maker.  How many times do you think I have heard, "Can we make a slushy?" Probably only 283 times since Wednesday.  It makes me want to take a hammer to the children slushy machine.

I can't wait for basketball season to start!  

"This is not about you" dated 9/12/12

Most of you do not know this, but I have kept a handwritten journal since March of 1991.  I wrote in it mostly only when I was sad.  Over the past 2 years I have plugged away at this blog.  It is fun for ME.  It allows ME to vent.  It allows ME to laugh at myself.  It allows ME to laugh at the world.  It allows ME to journal and talk about the things that make ME happy or unhappy.  My handwritten journal is a pity party that I have never shared with anyone EVER.  This all being said, this blog is not about you, it is about ME. 
If you ever find this site offensive, annoying, upsetting, or disturbing (actually I am disturbed by some of the things in my life- so scratch that one), I got a real quick fix for you- quit reading it!  This is why I got off Facebook.  It wasn't your problem that I was irritated everytime I logged on, it was mine, because I logged on!
If you would like to talk to ME about what you find annoying, upsetting, or disturbing, by all means address it.  I don't think that anyone who knows me will argue that I am difficult to approach.  I can be considered abrasive, but I also like to get along. 
On to more fun things...I watch Lawless this weekend.  You should see it.  I (heart) Tom Hardy.  I think I am going to have to break up with David Beckham, he gets a little too jealous and Tommy

"So Boring" Dated 9/9/12  (this one made me laugh)

I try to think of things to write about besides my kids, but while I am trying to think about it I realize...my life is consumed by them so of course that's all I have to say.
I want to tell you a little bit about what it's like on a day that The Ex is at the Fire house and we don't have to get ready for school or work.  Mh2 gets up @ 7:00, comes to my room and asks me, "Mommy, can I get up now?"  She then goes and gets the remote and brings it to me so I can show her what button to push to turn the TV on.  I fall back to sleep.  At approximately 7:30am Mh1 wakes up.  How do I know she is up, you ask?  Because I start to hear the shrieks, slaps, and kicks that my girls use to show their love for one another.  This is when I walk to the coffee pot and pray (no lie) that The Ex was kind enough to make coffee for me.  Eight times out 10 it is made.  That's love, especially when he doesn't drink it himself.  I then try to sneak back to the bedroom unnoticed but it never works.  They're like little CIA agents and count my footsteps or something because I can never get under their radar.  They immediately start with the, "Mommy, I'm hungry." (I want to reply, "No sh!t, it has been 12 hours since your last meal") and "Mommy, what are we eating for breakfast?" and "Mommy are we going to the Y today?" and "Mommy, what are we doing today?".  Most times I answer their 50 questions and add that I am going to my room for a little bit.  This gives me time to drink my coffee.  Drinking my coffee in peace and quiet makes me feel a little more confident in my abilities to responsibly parent.  At about 8:00am mh3 starts yelling, "Mommy I'm up!" from her baby cage. 
By 9:00 everyone is fed, and dressed.  I do housework and then they're hungry again.  Why are kids hungry all the time?  Today we left around noon (between 9:00 and noon I screamed at them a million times and thought I lost my mind once or twice).  We went to Kroger.  Some people like to punish themselves by cutting or Trichotillomania (syndrome where one pulls out their own hair) but when I feel the need for self punishment I go Krogering on Sunday with every other person in this end of town, with all three of my kids while they are restocking their shelves.  I bought my groceries while trying not to be "that lady" that you all judge (you know, the one that yells at her kids nonstop).  By the time I am paying, I don't care if I'm "that lady".  I get the monsters home, don't let them get out of the car while I take in the groceries.  Put the cold stuff away, make them all a snack (see!  they eat all the time), and we head to the Y.  I work out for about a half hour (did this workout today- short but HARD), and then we all get back in the car and while I am helping them put their cleats on, they eat ANOTHER SNACK (hungry kids are a no go around here).  We get to Tball at 2:00, where my sweet best friend sees me coming and runs to my rescue.  Her daughter gets mh3 and takes her to the concession stand and Amber helps me carry all my belongings and makes me feel somewhat human again (I love her for stuff like that).  I watch an hour of tball (which I love), then go home and make dinner, clean the kitchen, and bathe 3 dirty bodies.  Put them in bed and sit on the couch realizing how much work I put in. 

There are more posts but I'm sure you've seen enough for now.