While you have been one of the most difficult years in my life, you have also been one of the most beautiful. You have given me understanding of what I need in order to be fulfilled. You have reaffirmed what I knew about the people in my life that love me no matter my faults while revealing those that I was surprised to find could so easily walk away from me.
You have given me extra weight (in mind and body) but I consider it a gift. It can be compared to the weight that a bear gains before going into hibernation. This weight in mind and body will sustain me as I overcome the enemy of shame, guilt, failure and dissapointment in order to accept the grace and mercy that only God can provide. My most proud moments spent this year was when I was able to choose to take the high road in spite of the few petty transgressions made against me.
I give thanks to 2022 for the self actualization that I have achieved in realizing that I am capable of what I am becoming. I want to contine working on becoming a better mother, daughter, sister, friend and leader.
I am thankful for the people that I have leaned on this year. Specifically, Amber (Keith), Kelly (Mike), my sister, my girls, my Dad, Kaylin, Gail, Becky, Crystal, Lisa, Pam, Julie, Pam, Nicole, Casaundra, Marcella, Nikki, Dawn, my Aunt, my mom, all of the people that I work with, Tracy and many others. There were days that an encouraging word from one of you (like Rachel) was what I needed to just get through a single moment....You probably don't even realize it.
I won't make a profound resolution for 2023 but I will write down what I am manifesting for myself in 2023:
Reprioritizing my health by getting back to working out and drinking more water....I make no promise about limiting food or alcohol 😏
Moving into my new home (wherever that may be) by Christmas
And I'm not going to fake the front.....I also want long hair again
2022, I ask that you speak with 2023 about taking care of the people I mentioned above as they begin this new year. I pray for that the year brings them much joy and health.
I wrote this "letter" written to 2022 but as I continue I realize it is actually a prayer of thanks to God. So, let me wrap this up by also praying for wisdom, strength, endurance and integrity as I walk into 2023. You never promised any one of us happiness but I know that you have plans for me and that joy comes in the morning.
Much love,
Conni Jo
***If you decided to read this boring post, you'll be interested to know this is the first post I've written in 5 years! Maybe I'll be inspired to write something else soon.
Today I woke up at the Butt Crack of Dawn (official time) to walk my bad @ss dogs, and go to the gym. I then came home to MH2 having a conniption fit (ever had one of those- if not, it's a lot of screaming and crying for no reason) because the uniform she was wearing for softball "didn't fit right". This is coming from a kid that farts 72 times a day, doesn't match any of her clothes, and wears boots with American flags on them 10 months out of the year. Anyway, she finally got her conniption fit to level "mom won't kill me but I'm still crying". We headed to the ball park. She recently just joined back up with a team that she played with last year. If you are involved in our lives at all you know that we just finished building our house. During the build our lives were CRAZY. I felt like everything was so unstable and playing travel softball just wasn't an option for us (or her) at that point. Well, finally we've gotten settled moved into our new house and freed up some stress giving her another opportunity to play with her friends. To see the bond that those girls have is priceless (I've played a lot of ball in my life and never had the connection that I see in those girls).
Back to today, we head to the first game. She plays in that, then we speed (literally) to her Rec ball league so that she can play in that game.
After I watch my girls and niece play (and win) their Rec ball game, we changed clothes, packed up the bad @ss dogs and headed to Otter Creek. We spent about 2 hours there walking the trails with my good friend Kelly and her husband. After I wore the kids and dogs out really good we came home.
Now I am sitting on my back porch, drinking the nectar of the Gods (or what others call Yuengling) admiring the view while watching the dogs go primal on raw chicken legs. I'm waiting for Kelly to come back with Mike Linnings and we'll eat, drink and be merry while watching the kids roast marshmallows.
The friend that I have had the longest is one that I met on the school bus when I was 11 years old. We pretty much grew up together and he is one of my very favorite people in the world. We spent everyday in middle school and most days in high school either together or at least talking to each other on the phone. This friend was a boy and his name is Ty. Ty lived with his dad (Darryl) and his brother (Chad). Darryl lived with his two boys like how you would imagine any single dad with two boys would live. It was loud and it was fun. The two boys that Darryl raised could not have been any different but they were raised exactly the same. Darryl was always around but there were many days and nights that we were left to our own teenage shenanigans and he never got too mad at us for some of the ridiculous crap we did:
The one time we got in a water balloon fight but it escalated to pulling the water hose from outside through the bathroom window to thoroughly soaking whoever it was on the other end, INSIDE THE HOUSE- I don't remember getting in trouble for that).
When Ty and Chad were fighting at the top of the basement steps and Daryl ran from the basement up the stairs and tossed the boys in opposite directions to break them apart as if they were dirty laundry **he was a strong dude
Do you remember when stupid kids made each other pass out by pressing one another against a wall cut circulation off to their brains? Here's an example of a Youtube clip if you need a better idea of how dumb we were...Yeah, we did that (Ty refused, you'll understand why he refused when you learn more about him below), I went first and passed out without much of a production. When it was Chad's turn, he passed out and had somewhat of a seizure, we all freaked out but then he got up and started laughing and we never did it again and learned our lesson (Ty actually got mad at us for that one- Ty only got mad a few times our whole lives (or showed it anyway)).
When Ty and Chad were fighting and Ty almost cut his arm off going through the window on the back door
When we would sit around the dining room table chain smoking cigarettes watching Ty light stuff on fire (the cleaning lady would yell at them for almost burning down the house). 1) why didn't we get in trouble for burning stuff 2) why didn't we get in trouble for smoking?
So Darryl, raised two brothers and they were so VERY different from one another.
So you get the point, while they were so very different, they loved each other so very much. Ty was Chad's biggest cheerleader. If no one believed in Chad, Ty always did. Chad was always intrigued by and proud of Ty. When we were young adults and Ty was struggling with sharing some important things with me, Chad called me up. He told me all about it because he knew his brother was afraid and he was his brother's keeper. Chad broke Ty's important news to me because he knew he needed to do it for his brother when his brother needed it the most.
Chad passed from Ty and the rest of his friends and family last Friday. My heart breaks for Ty and Daryl, and the rest of their family and friends. While it has been a few years since I've talked to Chad, he was a big part of my childhood and I'll miss him. I am thankful for his friendship and I am thankful for the role he played in the molding of one of my lifelong friends.
Dear Chad, I wish we would have known your time was borrowed. Look over your brother like you always have.
I haven't had anything to write about in a while but then I was at the gym today and noticed something that I feel pretty passionate about...HAIRY MEN. Consider the following two pictures. Take a guess on what I prefer:
or
If you guessed the dirty, hairy fisherman, you are correct. The clean shaven boy reminds me of a serial killer. While I was at the gym I saw a couple of dudes with shaved arms. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??? All that tells me is that you also shave your chest. The thought of a shaved chest makes me want to hurl. Take a long deep look into the next picture (be careful, I heard d!ckmatized is an actual thing, it might take a while to look away):
Do you see that hairy chest? If there is a woman that is reading this that wants to tell me you don't like that, send me your location so that I can come beat your @ss for lying.
So, dudes please don't gross me out with your shaved smooth, girly chests. Men are supposed to be hairy, stinky, and have rough hands.
Onto further prove my point. Ladies (or gents if you're into it) look at these pictures and tell me which YOU prefer...
(Full Disclosure: I'm not going to lie...Tom Hardy could shave all of his entire body and I would still be willing to live on saltines and tap water in his former crack house if he asked me to join him.)
I don't even like this little dork but I'll be danged if he doesn't have a beard AND it's RED...Got me dude. My friend Nikki hates gingers, my dad's infamous quote is that he'd, "Rather be dead than red on the head". When I think about red headed men I think of Ireland so, I consider red headed men like I consider The Statue of Liberty...a GIFT from a foreign country.
Then there's this guy:
How in the heck do you not expect me to be attracted to someone that can keep a pet kitty in their face????
The only hair that I find acceptable for a man to take off with razors or lasers is back hair, but that being said, Why would you when you can do something like this?:
Now if you don't have the ability to grow hair on your head- big deal. Man up and shave that patchy sh!t off to rock a bald head. This internet article actually says, "...the finding from a new research project which suggests that men who take the preemptive step of shaving their head appear tougher and more powerful than others. A shaved head indicatesdominance, authority and… being in control."
If you have a job that doesn't allow you to have a beard, at least grow a mustache but if they don't allow a mustache, quit.
If you want to date one of my daughters, you'll also need to know a couple more things.
Men should NOT:
-use umbrellas
-wear jewelry other than a watch or wedding band
-use hair gel
-use a straw (EVER)
-drive a little sports car
-comment about other chicks in front of the one he's with
These are The Ex's grandparents. We call them Ma & Di. They were married for 65 years until Monday night when she went Home. I am guessing but I think Ma was about 5"2' tall. I am 5'8"...that's a six inch difference. You would think that a woman that hovers 6 inches above another woman would feel dominant. This is not the case. Ma was in charge and she intimidated me. She didn't try to intimidate me (she was one of the nicest people I have ever known) but she did. I think I felt that way around her because she was the most efficient, loving mother/grandmother I have ever known. Anything that I have ever eaten, that she made, was perfect. The very best, most delicious hush puppies that I have ever put in my mouth, were made by her. She kept an immaculate house. Ma wrapped Christmas and birthday presents with precision (and a roll of tape on each gift). She was 14 years old when she married Jason's grandpa. Before that, as a child herself, she took care of her siblings after her own mother had passed. A girl that didn't have a mother taught herself to care for children and a home and taught herself to be a wife at 14 years old. The things that she accomplished at 14 are things that I continue, at my age, to try to accomplish. It will be impossible to live up to her legacy. I will miss her deeply and I am so thankful to her for raising a daughter that raised the boy that became the man of my own family. I love you Ma. "Y'all come down now."
We are having the biggest snow storm we've had in a whole bunch of years. My dad wants me to check with The Ex (he's at the fire house) to see how the roads are. I have no idea where my dad wants to go (probably nowhere, old people just like knowing things, I guess) but he wants me to ask. I tell my dad he hasn't had any runs so he doesn't know how the roads are...My dad then offers to start a dumpster fire in his district to give him some work. Wow.
Other stories from the snow...the minihumans BEG me to go and play in the snow. Let's get something straight here. I'm not one of those moms that goes and frolics in the snow with her kids building snowmen and all that. I more of the kind of mom that makes hot chocolate for her kids, but makes some for herself with a splash of vodka and kahlua. Anyway, after lots of begging we all get bundled up. (Side note: the half brained baby tried to go out in a pair of pajama bottoms and rain boots...see why I drink?). We walk out the door, I start shoveling the walkway (which let's be clear, is totally a man's job but he's not here and I need a job to do while I'm "playing" with the minhumans). I swear to you, 5 min. in mh3 (aka half brain) says, "I want to go in." For the love of all things beautiful. Does she realize there are three of them?! I just think "F it" and say, "Ok, you little half brain baby, go on in the house." Why do I hear her a few minutes later crying at the door (I can't see her because I'm down the driveway)...I say, "Half Brain, what's the matter?" She says, "I can't get the door open!" (Remember I can't see her...only hear her), I say, "Take your gloves off." (The I hear the door open and close). How do moms know their kids so well?
All of this makes me realize how blessed I am to have a gang load of kids. While it's a pain in the arse getting them all ready, feeding them, etc...the good thing is that they entertain each other! I can be left to such import things as The Wire (thanks for the suggestion Amy!) and my Nook (currently reading Land Line) while they keep up with each other (I throw them some food here and there). I don't know how people do it that only have 1 child. That seems like a lot more work (mentally).
My dad and I have been told before that we have a weird sense of humor and that when we're around each other we ignore other people. Both of us swear we do not intentionally ignore anyone on purpose BUT the things that we think are funny, most would not...here is a text from tonight. You'll think this is stupid, we could go on forever.
Something funny about my dad AND The Ex. If you know me, you know that I can get a little crazy about random things. They're about the only 2 people in the world (besides my baby sister and Amber) that can snap me out of my madness with some good stern words. For instance; the other night some transformers blew close to our house. It was loud, the electricity was out, it was in the middle of the night, it was bright lights in the sky and I could smell smoke. The Ex laid next to me and let me freak out for a little while (pacing the house, repeatedly looking out the window checking for terrorists (cookoo), listening to the fire scanner, etc.). Finally, he says very sharply, "Calm down!" That's all it took to snap me out of it. Moments like that make me realize, I really can get carried away with weird stuff and usually he just let's me be weird, but sometimes it goes too far and he has to step in. It's like this:
On a sad note, we had to put our girl down on Saturday. She was 12 years old and the best dog I've ever known. It was one of the saddest days of our life. I asked my friend Josh the other day how we can love our dogs so much. He said it best, "Because they're so much better than us."
I wrote this about her over 4 years ago, "I heard a while back that German Sheppards never rank #1 in any area (like protection, bite, agility, etc.) but they are 2nd or 3rd in every category. Here is a picture of my 8 year old German Sheppard....
I also have a 5 lb. Yorkie that is 5. They have been together since the Yorkie was a pup. They get in fights (mostly over that ugly red thing she is sitting with), but we always figured, if she hasn't killed the Yorkie yet, he's probably safe. Pisces is the best dog I have ever known (maybe besides good 'ol Pearl Jam). She is protective, smart, and beautiful. She also ignores the kids, I envy her."
I already miss her very, very much but I am so thankful for the time we had with her.
I am sure that all of you are in the throes of Christmas shopping like I am. I did most of my shopping the day after Thanksgiving while sitting on my couch without a bra on. While I did spend a few hours it was so much easier than going out to shop. What did people do without the internet? Speaking of Christmas presents...I heard someone talking about the limit that they put on their spending for their kids. $500 per child was one amount that I heard. While you know that I am seriously the least judgmental parent, I have to say I think that's cray cray. I could definitely find $500 (or more) worth of stuff to buy for each of my girls, but why? Each of my girls probably gets about $100 or so spent on them. And, they will be happy with it...or not and if not, I'll just send it back.
New topic: One of my colleagues and I (Hey Allyson!) were scolded during a training this past week. (We were talking about work stuff but we weren't paying attention to the presenter). She was furious about it, I on the other hand, didn't give it a second thought. She explained that she never gets in trouble and had only one detention her entire life. This made me laugh. I have gotten in trouble for talking my entire life. I also couldn't tell you the number of detentions that I accumulated. I remember being in "in school suspension" several times in middle school (I don't remember any of the reasons why, except one when I got in trouble for sniffing markers and rubber cement under a table). I have been suspended off the school bus, and I was in detention a lot in high school for being late to class, talking in class, not bringing my PE uniform to PE, and cutting class. One time I got in trouble in English class because I told the teacher we should put all of the retarded people on an island so that we would never be threatened with them procreating. Obviously, I do not think that (nor did I then) and I don't even use the word retarded but apparently I loved p!issing stupid people off (that teacher was a wacko) even when I was a kid. I would do stuff like that all the time, just to get a rise out of people. I also got put in the STOP program (that's like in school suspension but at another location, it's the step right before actual suspension) for fighting. As an adult I realize that I am still the same person only I have learned how to control myself (most times). I am telling you all of this because mh2 is the same person (hopefully she won't fight) so I have an idea of what to expect. How I will handle it, is the question. My dad pretty much didn't care about my behavior as long as I had good grades. He always expected me to be respectful but he left me alone because my grades were good. Some of the students I work with make me laugh because they remind me of myself (the biggest difference is that I had someone at home who loved me and made me feel safe while a lot of the kids with the biggest behavior issues do not). I think this is why I so much enjoy kids with behavior problems, I can relate to them (only I didn't try to fight any of my teachers nor was I openly disrespectful), I can especially relate to the ADHD kids that are unorganized and get distracted easily.
The girls and I are going to attempt a Pinterest craft for Christmas presents for my sister, mom, and Mother-in-law. As you know, I am not a crafty person and this may go terribly wrong. Hopefully none of my children are murdered in the process. I can't tell you what it is because they gift receivers are probably reading this but I'll post the shameful pics after Christmas so you can laugh at my sorry attempt at being creative.
Random things:
I am reading Outer Dark by Cormac McCarthy right now, good book by my favorite author
My favorite song right now is All the Time by The Bahamas (my dad says it sucks and sounds like a wanna be Prince song) See below
Earlier this week I received Piyo in the mail so that I can stay home but workout in the mornings before work. It's a mix of Pilates and Yoga and it makes me realize how truly inflexible I am. If you ever want to have a good laugh, come by my house at about 6am.
I am still slingin' mascara, if you're interested they make great Christmas presents
I don't have anything else to talk about so I guess I'll sign off. I think of stuff to write about all the time, but I forget to write it down so it leaves my brain and then I'm left with random boring crap to talk about, so I don't write.
One more thing; I have had many applications for memberships to the I Don't Give a F Club. They have all been accepted. This has by far been the favored blog post and if you are interested in reading more about that you can here.
It has been since March that I have posted! I didn't realize it had been so long. I haven't had anything to say, but now I do!
Yesterday I signed up to be a Presenter through Younique! You can read about the company here but basically it's make-up! More importantly, it's MASCARA. 3D Mascara!
Most of you know I have little baby eyelashes. I spend a sh!t ton of money at MAC (well, I used to) and I still don't have the dramatic lashes that I've always wanted. (I actually did have fabulous lashes at my wedding...but they were GLUED on). Once I tried this, I was hooked! No more MAC for me and no more little baby lashes.
Sometimes I think about things and instead of being thoughts they become obsessions. I probably have some type of mental illness...I've written about my various "interests" here. Today I am obsessing over the dumb crap about banning the word "bossy". For real, for real: I've been called bossy my whole life. You know what, I am. I always think I know what's best about everything. I find it confusing/amusing when I am actually wrong about something. I know this about myself and I try to remember that it is ok when someone doesn't agree with me or do what I want them to do. I've decided all these people that don't like the word, have never been called bossy. I bet you that women that are in leadership positions have at some point been called bossy, because guess what? They probably are! They're good at telling people what to do and they probably were when they were little girls!
I'm going to go ahead and blow your minds here: I hate to break your hearts but men are usually better in leadership positions. You know why? They don't things personally. So, there are more men in charge because they are typically better at it- not because a bunch of little girls were called bossy in 1960 shutting down their personalities ending their future of being a CEO. P.S. You know where I'm best at being bossy? At my house- where I run this mother trucker! The Ex is good at things, but I'm like really awesome at running the Strange household. Furthermore, if anyone told me that I was good at running my household I would be flattered because it's the most important job I've ever or will ever have. I'll leave running companies to men. Go ahead and get over your false cry of sexism. While your boo hooing, I'll write about something else....
I'm reading 2 books right now: The Life of Jesus According to Biff. Hilarious but sacrilegious. Also reading The Husband's Secret. Why 2 at once you ask? Depends on the mood I'm in when I read. Plus, I've been starting a lot of books lately without finishing them.
Let's see what else, I can think of....I had a birthday yesterday. It was good. I got an awesome new pair of rain boots from The Ex. So I can give you a guarantee that Derby will be beautiful because I have new boots to wear. If I didn't have boots it would rain, you're welcome.
Mh1 turned 8 the other day. She had a good one. She's starting her first year of softball and so far...she's really bad at it. It's all good though, she's having fun and she'll get stronger and better as the season goes on. She wants to do well and she's got a really good coach and some super cheerleaders. I'm happy to watch her and I'm proud no matter what.
Mh3 turned 4 a few weeks ago. That's really sad because she really isn't a baby anymore. We still call her, "The baby" and she'll probably have that name the rest of her life. She's still as funny as ever and she still makes my soul sing.
I originally wrote this like a month ago and never posted it...
If you know me very well you know that I don't really give a F. For instance tonight I went to Kroger for oreo cookies winter survival food and I was dressed like a homeless person. See:
I wore the hoody because I already had that on and the sweat pants. Right before I left (in regular shoes) The Ex said, "Your sweat pants are going to get wet." So, I changed out of my Birkenstocks and tucked my pants in these ugly green boots that I love. The blanket thingy you see if actually really cute, but not on top of a Broncos hoody. Anyway, my point is: I don't give a F. When people looked at me in the grocery as if I was a mentally deranged person, I felt a surge of pride. So, I am the president of the I-don't-give-a-F club. It has a few members:
Me: you see the outfit above? That happens a lot. I was known in college to get up for class, brush my teeth and head to whatever class I was going to. This is before cutesy Victoria Secret yoga/pajama pants. They were like the ugly flannel Walmart men's pajama bottoms and a WKU t-shirt. No make up, no brush in my hair, and whatever random pair of shoes was closest to my dorm room exit.
The Ex: he wears things like black dress socks up to his knees with shorts to lift weights. He also wore this hat for like 10 years:
He obviously doesn't give a F, so he's in.
mh1: To the UofL women's game yesterday she wore a UofL t-shirt, nylon running pants (so far, so good) and knee high leather boots with the pants tucked in them. She doesn't give a F, so she's in the club, too.
mh2: I can't even begin to describe the things she's willing to wear. The more it doesn't match, the more apt she is to wear it. She doesn't give a F, she's in.
My dad: We went to Olive Garden last night. He wore a pair of 3-D glasses that you get for free at the movies... with the lenses out. (He also took the time to sharpie the "3d" words on the sides so they looked more "real". He's been wearing them for like 3 days.
You think he gives a F? Nah.
Pisces (my dog): She gets in the kitchen garbage when I'm not home and sometimes eats turds in the backyard....she really doesn't give a F.
People in my family that aren't in the club:
mh3: Her little 3-year-old self likes to wear dresses and match (though she has been known to wear athletic socks with patent leather dress shoes)...she's not in the club but I'll continue to monitor her level of giving a F to see if one day she can enter. Either way, she's cute.
Baby S: When she gives a F, she really gives a F. She's so pretty when she does care, that it makes up for the times she doesn't (so I'm not sure if she's in or not). On second thought, my little baby nieces are always cute and dressed so precious. She's out.
My mom: She's too pretty to be in the club.
If you are interested in becoming a member, you cannot be one of those people that forces their kids to wear what you tell them. You have to be like me and just be happy when they are dressed and ready to go. (Don't worry, if they're dressed too crazy- when you're out in public just pretend like you don't know them, like I do). If your child has a hair bow for every outfit, you cannot be in the club. If you force your son or daughter to wear clothes that he can't play in for the sake of being cute, you cannot join. If you are a dude and use an umbrella, you're out. Or if you're a dude and drive a sports car, automatic rejection of your application on the premise that you give too many Fs.
Look, I'm not saying my club is the best, but low maintenance is usually less stressful. While my kids aren't always the cutest dressed, when it comes to getting ready I don't stress about wardrobe. As long as you are dressed for the weather and the activity, we're good. I also feel like less emphasis on their appearance is better for their self esteem in the long run. I am hoping this cultivates their desire to focus on what is on the inside. And, don't get me wrong, dressing appropriately is important but stressing about it, isn't.
Things going on in my life at the moment :
The Ex just got promoted to purple belt in BJJ. He's awesome, I'm proud.
The Ex is about to lay hard wood floors in our house. We just have to pick it out. I think I'm going with Brazilian cherry.
My Dad just sent me some Fleetwood Mac songs and I have "Over my Head" on repeat
I just recently discovered Calvin Harris. God bless the Scots. If I would have known of him 10 years ago I might have reconsidered who would father my children. See below:
This post started off with random thoughts and then I came up with a new term....
Song that's in my head right now:
But I'm listening to Lorde on my iTunes right now. FYI...all the songs on her album sound the same but I still like it. Tennis Court is my favorite.
I just watched Wish You Were Here on Netflix. It's good, check it.
I usually read everyday but I haven't read in the last few days. It's because I am reading Wicked and I can't get into it. I need something else to read. Right now I have Fracture (thanks to Crystal!) and Havisham (the prelude to one of my very favorite books Great Expectations) waiting to be read.
The end of my Christmas break is coming near. I am going to be so tired when I go back to work because I like to stay up until after midnight and not get up until 10. Today, I didn't take a shower or put on a bra. It seems like the only time I put on makeup or get "dressed" is when I go to work. I should always work because if I didn't I would end up looking like a homeless crackhead all of the time. Plus, my poor husband only gets to see me out of sweat pants and with a bra on when I am going to my job-e-job.
You know what I hate??? I hate when married people talk about going on dates. You's a lie. Y'all ain't dating! You're going out to eat food without a bunch of kids bothering you. Dates are for single people. The Ex and I are going out to eat and to a movie tomorrow night. We aren't dating- we are ESCAPING!!! Let me explain...we get in the car with the 3 mini humans, we drive to my Dad's...we slow down long enough that they can jump out without getting injured. We drive away fast enough that he can't change his mind...we have ESCAPED! So, from now on it's called Escape Night. Anyway, tomorrow night we have Escape night. We're going to sushi and a movie. I'll put on a bra and deodorant.
Some of the things that went down for us this year:
Your girl:
Started BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at Derby City Mixed Martial Arts) and I love it (still terrible at it but still working)
Competed in my first BJJ tournament in June
Conquered the rope climb at the gym
Saw Bruno Mars in concert (with one of my favorite girls Sadie-Leigh)
Got hired to a do a different job at work and it's pretty awesome (I still miss my old friends/students)
The Ex:
Just saved a few lives...no big deal
Won a silver metal in the same BJJ tournament I competed in
MH1
Got all Os on her report card all year
Made the cross country team and straight KILLT it (even got 4th place in one of the races this season)
MH2
Perfected her cartwheel (if you have ever been around the child for any period of time you know she does no less than 100 per day)
Lost a few teeth
Is killing 1st grade
MH3
Learned to write her name
Sings the heck out of "The Name Game", especially when you ask her to use the word sucker
Cool things we did as a family in 2013:
Trained BJJ together
Went on an awesome vacation to Florida with awesome friends
Went to Holiday World
Went to The Beach Water Park
Saw Big Boi in concert
Went to the Broncos/Colts game
Some numbers for you:
I gave approximately 547 baths (3 kids approx. every other day)
I did approximately 365 loads of laundry (about one a day)
Kissed a face at least 2000 times (4 people at least once a day everyday)
Something to think about: I really don't understand everyone that is all like, "2013 sucked, ready for 2014" or "2013 was awesome, ready for 2014". I don't spend too much time worrying about what was good or bad. Sure, there were some bullcrap that went down in 2013 and there was some awesome stuff that I'm thankful for, but it was what it was. I hope 2014 is awesome but I hope tomorrow is awesome. I'll take each day as it comes. So, since I don't have any official resolutions, I did tell The Ex I was going to clean the house tomorrow, does that count?
For all of you planning your 2014, I feel like this is the perfect time to share my very favorite bible verse (Phillippians 4:6-7) Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition with thanksgiving send your requests to God.
Wow! I am not feeling it this year. Usually I like decorating and look forward to it. The Ex did put the lights on the house and they look awesome. I have 2 Christmas trees that I put up and I collect nativity scenes (so I have about 20 to put out). I only put the trees up because the girls wanted me to and I only put out my 2 favorite nativities. I have finished most of my shopping (online!) but I still need to shop for my mom, sister, Dad, Nana, and The Ex's Dad. If it wasn't for the kids, I probably wouldn't be putting up a tree. I need to be doing a million things instead of putting up Christmas decorations. Like, folding laundry:
or mopping sticky kitchen floors or washing dirty baby bodies
or washing my own body (yeah I haven't showered today). Or make a wholesome dinner (instead of frozen pizza), or working out (I did join Crossfit Regeneration Southwest) or wrap Christmas presents, or clean out the refrigerator or clean my house, or wash my car, or organize my closet. So, you see Christmas decorations is falling low on the list of priorities. The interesting thing is, everything I "need" to do is falling low on my list. Instead of doing what I "need" to do, I have only focused on survival via food for the children (we had french toast for b-fast, chips and pumpkin pie for lunch (I'm not lying) and frozen pizza for dinner, sleep (I slept until 11), washing the dishes (I really can't stand to have dirty dishes), entertainment (Naked and Afraid- the girls LOVE it and Downton Abbey). So, there you have it: that's what loser moms do. We sleep late, make fast meals, and sit around watching TV in day old underwear. So, instead of looking at Pinterest and feeling bad about your lack of crafting skills and crockpot dinners, read this post and feel better about yourself. I imagine you quit reading this and think to yourself, "Huh, well I'm not so bad afterall...at least I have good personal hygiene."
I think I'm down to only posting each month because I broke my lap top and I don't really like blogging from my phone. I don't really want to buy another lap top so I don't know...
Things going on in my life that I am narcissistic enough to think you are about:
I fell off the eating-well-and-working-out-5-times-a-week wagon after vacation. I still haven't recovered. I have gained about 6 pounds. That doesn't seem like a lot but I can feel it in my clothes. Work makes it that much harder to get it back together, but this week has gone decent.
Mh1 made the cross country team at her school. Why did I bust a tear when she handed me her paper that said she made the team? A mother's pride is crazy.
Speaking of crazy, one of my parents talked crazy to me at work today. Some people don't realize that I bend over backwards for and genuinely care about their child. Being hostile to me for no reason is just plain silly. Why is there such an "us against them" type of mentality with some parents and some schools? I want to have a good, working, open relationship with my daughters' school, I assume all parents feel that way.
I'm not ashamed but I am annoyed that I cannot get Miley's song out of my head. All of you need to leave that girl alone. If you don't like her little flat baby bootie, don't watch her. The other song that I love right now is Gorilla by Bruno Mars.
Show I'm into: The White Queen
Book I'm into: The series that The White Queen is based on by Phillipa Gregory
Shows I'm into: None (I did finish Orange is the New Black and season 1 of The Killing on Netflix, I definitely recommend)
I recently joined a fantasy football league. It's all women and the team name is something like Vagina Power but I can remember exactly. I want to win but I have no idea what I'm doing. All I know is The Ex gave me all of the picks to make and I did, and he said I have a good team. I feel like if I don't win I won't make him proud. That's so dumb. Fantasy football is trying to ruin my marriage.
Anytime I watch The Road Rules/Real World Challenge or the physical challenges on Big Brother I always think I would win.
I was thinking about competing in jiu jitsu in October in Indianapolis but The Ex isn't competing so I have chickened out. You would think that I am not competing because I am scared, but actually I am not competing because I do not feel like dealing with the nervousness that would consume me until the time of competition for the weeks leading up. Just thinking about not doing the competition gave me nervous butterflies in my stomach just now.
One more (not so funny) funny story. I think I was involved in domestic violence this morning. I was the aggressor. The Ex and I got into an argument about something silly. He was at the kitchen sink and took a hand full of water and threw it in my face (I guess he was trying to be playful but I just did my makeup) in a total reaction I slapped him across the head. If he would have done that to me, I would have picked up the frying pan and hit him with it. I'm sorry for being an abusive wife, Boo, but you better know your place next time!
I think I haven't had much to talk about this summer because we pretty do the same thing everyday. Interesting things happen when we get out of routine and we pretty much do this everyday:
1. wake up to alarm screeching sounds that come from hell spawns
2. attempt to match energy from the little people by drinking at least 8 cups of coffee
3. make breakfast for the (same thing pretty much everyday= egg whites, fresh fruit, and oatmeal, cereal, or on the rare occasion pop tart (the little sugar addicts would eat pop tarts everyday)
4. answer 50 questions like, "What are we going to do today?" "Can we go to the Y?" "What's for lunch?" (damn it man, didn't you just eat breakfast?) "Can we go swimming?" The questions never end.
5. go to gym, swimming, dr. appt., or run errands
6. naps (this is why I love God so much- he created naps to give mothers of young children respite)
7. start dinner or plan on going to dinner with my dad (we have gotten really good at going to the "kids eat free" nights
8. go to DCMMA to get my @ss whooped (I feel so much better after I leave. I'm not sure if you know this but kids are stressful, when I leave the gym after doing Boot Camp or Jiu jitsu I feel less stress, this does not mean that I get the endorphin rush everyone talks about- that never happens to me. Dude, if I could get high from exercise, I would be one skinny little girl).
9. Bedtime
10. party time! yeah right, crash time
Readers might find this funny: at the end of BJJ class the instructor/coach has us line up (facing him). He wraps up the class with advice and what not. One day he was talking about the importance of breathing and breathing deeply with good posture. He said something to the effect of don't hunch over the computer when you're on it, sit up tall. He also said to the class, "Don't be a blogger, be an athlete!" hahahahahaha I asked if I could be both.
I was about to post to Facebook but then it got too long and I realized I have a blog post! It's been a while and I have no idea why. I don't like to write unless I can think of something that will interest all 10 of my readers and lately I haven't had much.
Anywho: The Ex is at the Fire House tonight. The girls and I usually do the same thing whenever he's not home. Usually dinner (tonight it was Pina Fiesta because we have no groceries and I love that place), then chillin' on the couch. Tonight we chilled on the couch and painted toe nails and finger nails. We popped popcorn (the real kind, air popped from the air popper thingy my dad bought us for Christmas), and I stalked people I don't know on Facebook while they watched Tinkerbell. When I was putting them to bed the door bell rang. I walked to the door but no one was there (I don't answer the door when The Ex isn't home because I will either buy what they are selling or get raped/murdered...I can't afford either) so I didn't think anything about it even though Pisces was still acting like someone was around. She kept walking to the front and back doors, finally she started barking at the front door. I look out and no one is there. I generally do not get scared of much (especially when my kids are in the house because I know if someone came in here- one of us is going to die before you get to the kids). Even though I don't get scared, I do have an imagination. I started imagining I was in that movie, The Strangers. see trailer to refresh your memory:
It's a decent movie, and even though I thought about it, I'm not your average white-girl-in-a-horror-flick. I'm not at the door like, "Who's there? Hello? Who's there?" So, I just ignored it and turned on the alarm.
Yeah, that was pretty anti-climatic, moving on.
I've mentioned before that I started practicing Jiu Jitsu. I competed in my first tournament last Saturday. The Ex competed also, and my Dad and his Dad came out to support us. Nervous isn't the feeling that I had. It was more like a state of disconnect of mind/body. I lost my first match. After I watched the video I wasn't too disappointed with my performance:
My second match started as soon as the first was over. I was still winded from the first match and I was confused about what had actually just happened (I can't remember the first match, adrenaline is weird). Also, The Ex wasn't expecting me to go up as fast either, so he went to the bathroom. I knew he wasn't there, and I remember thinking, "What am I supposed to do if he's not here?" As if he does the work for me. It is an odd feeling to depend on someone's presence alone, that much. He got back half way through the second match. While it is embarrassing for me to watch this, I love hearing my teammates Bradley and Tim desperately try to encourage/coach me. All I could hear were their voices and I did my best to listen, but I was having trouble with basic commands (seriously, someone said something about, "Take your right hand and ..." I had to stop and think about which hand was my right)...This is the last 2 minutes of the 2nd match (the match that I actually won is next, if you want to skip this):
The match that I won:
I was so much more relaxed during this match. I didn't feel scared anymore because I had already gotten my @ss handed to me, so I just went out to do my best without any pressure (though I do wish I would have tried harder to get a submission). If you're wondering why I'm walking off the mat with my hands and arms just kinda hanging there, it's because they were. I could barely feel them from the muscle fatigue. The best part is at the end when my Dad interviewed me.
If you want to see something really cool, watch The Ex choke a fool in less than 40 seconds:
He came in 2nd place and I was really proud of him.
Anywho, I had fun at the tournament and I want to do another one but the next time, I promise myself to try not to panic. I want my husband, daughters, instructors/coaches, teammates, and Dad to be proud of me.
I haven't written in a while because I don't like to write unless I have something funny to say (or at least somewhat entertaining). Sorry I haven't had anything exciting happen lately. Today, I decided to write about what I like to do in my "free time" (do moms have any?).
Since February, I have been training in the art of Jiu Jitsu and I walk around covered in bruises. When I say covered I mean at this moment I have 43 bruises. I only counted the ones on my arms. I have at least that amount on my legs. Plus, I get bruises on my hip bones, I have a sore tail bone, I sprained my neck in March (it still hurts), I have a sprained big toe, the joints in my left hand feel loose, and last week I had a black eye and a bruise along my jaw. I try to cover the bruises up with long sleeves and pants because people always ask me why I do it if I am getting beat up all the time. First off, it's not really getting "beat up". I do get banged up from bumping into people with my body. Some of the bruises are finger prints from just being grabbed by the other person. Most of the bruises are from my panicky state of engagement with my drilling partner. I flail around a lot with little control of my body. The Ex says I "flop" around too much.
Anyway, again when people ask my why I do it, sometimes I don't know. Some days I do it because I like hanging out with The Ex and having something in common with him. Sometimes I do it because I like working out with my buddy Jennifer. Sometimes I do it because it makes me feel more secure (like if I get attacked I won't panic and will be able to put up a fight). Sometimes I hate it. The days I hate it are the days when not being good (because I'm not) gets to my ego. On the days that I do not accept how bad I suck, I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and sensitive. On the days that I realize that I don't suck, it's just that I don't know anything- I leave the gym feeling like I learned something and I got a good workout. The Ex tells me to check my ego at the door. Today was one of those days when I just got beat over and over again. Mentally, I was ok though. I took the losses as opportunities to learn and ask questions so that I could try to avoid making the same mistakes again.
At the end of the class today, my coaches called me to the front of the line and gave me my first stripe on my belt. It was a weird feeling. I heard them call my name but I just stared at them not knowing what to do. Brent waved me over and Chewy gave me my stripe and congratulations. The class clapped for me, The Ex smiled at me, one of my daughters said "Yay Mommy!"
I consider myself a somewhat intelligent person and Jiu Jitsu makes me feel dumb, weak, and tired. Intelligent people do not continue doing things that make them feel those ways, but at the same time intelligent people do seek ways in which to challenge themselves. This is what Jiu Jitsu is for me: a challenge. I have liked the underdog my whole life. I am the underdog.
My coaches are awesome. Google Brent Weedman or Nick "Chewy" Albin to learn about their careers in fighting. I am sure you can find a lot of information on their abilities but what you will probably not read about is how very patient they are with people like me.
I have a post saved about my prom dress and the kardashians but I was getting bored just writing it so I put it in my drafts file. Tonight I feel like I have something you will want to read about. For some reason all you sickos like it when I talk about how my children are little-leach-life-suckers. So, I'll share some things with you:
Saturday I decided to take the girls (by myself) to see the UofL Softball team play. I was dumb enough to take the "short cut" through Papa John's Stadium just as tens of thousands of people were leaving the football team's spring game. I sat in standstill traffic for 40 min. all the while I heard these kinds of nonsense coming from the backseat, "When are we going to be there?" "Why are there so many cars?", "Why are the police there?", "When are we going to be there?" followed by, "When are we going to be there?" and then followed by, "When are we going to be there?" I heard that enough times that I finally just quit answering them. Like, I fantasized about being one of the drunk people stumbling out of the stadium. They are so lucky to be oblivious to the plight of young creatures and their constant NEEDS. Anywho, after being verbally tortured I finally made it to the vicinity of the softball field. Of course, there was a track & field meet going on at the same time. This means I had to park about 59 miles away. Keep in mind the game is at 2:00 and by the time I park it's going on 3:15! Have you ever walked with a 3-year-old. Dang their little fat legs don't hardly move! So, I decided to carry her...Remember those fat legs I just mentioned, yeah that's like her whole body (chill body image people, I don't tell her to her face she's a chunker....baby if you're reading this via 2025- I kid) so within like 3 blocks I had to put her down cause I was running out of steam, fast. After I put her down I had to kinda pull her by her hand so that she kinda ran on her tippy toes/floated/hung by one arm. (Chill CPS! Her shoulder socket is just fine). I actually closely watched passing cars to see if I recognized any of the drivers and fantasized that I did and that they picked us up and drove us the rest of they way to the game. Too bad it never happened...then we came to the dreaded 4 way busy intersection. I picked up the fat toddler again, then screamed at the other two for the entire walk across one street. Screamed like, "Stay right with me!" I was scared to death that they were going to get ran over even though I saw all the cars stopped. A mother's fear is so weird and irrational. Anyway, we had to cross again and by the time we got to safety I wanted to lay down and die and cry and just give up on life. (Keep in mind I had finished working out 3 hrs earlier and had yet to eat anything...mama was hungry). So, we finally make to the gate and right as we are walking through I see an oasis in the desert. BUD LIGHT TENT. This is what I suddenly felt like (please watch for the full effect):
So I get my brew and we head for the seats. We find 4 seats that are directly behind the backstop. Awesome! As soon as take the first sip of my beer and I get that, "Ah, now it's all good, we're settled" feeling, the fat toddler says, "I gotta go pee". So, I get the litter back up and we head for the closest restroom. I walk up to my guardian angel the lady that just sold me the beer and ask her where the nearest restroom is. She points me in the direction but tells me I can't take my beer past the gate. So, I look around and notice there aren't many people where we are. There is also a pile of rocks suitable to soak up the urine of aforementioned fat toddler. Her sisters and I create a human tent/shield and said toddler squats and pees on the rocks and mommy's hand. That's probably illegal but I didn't care. Imagine what the cop would have thought if they walked up and saw me helping my baby squat in rocks all while holding a beer in a hand dripped in pizz. Not my most proud moment, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Since the crisis was adverted we walk back to our seats. I get settled again, take another sip of my beer when I'll be danged if that little sucker doesn't say, "Mommy I gotta go poop".
I didn't expect this to be so long so, I'll tell you more about our adventure in Kroger today later.
And, yes I only drank one beer. And, no I did not have her poop in rocks.
I have realized that sushi is really cool and it makes people think they are cool. To me (the fat girl that I am) sushi is food. Food that I love. Food that I ate when I was pregnant because I valued it more than the brain of my unborn child. I've been eating sushi since before sushi was hip so, I feel like I am an expert on all things sushi and I want to enlighten you. (I'm really not at all, but I do like it a lot)
First off, those of you that are like, "Ew, I don't want to eat raw fish." This is what you are imagining when I say sushi:
It is nothing like that. A lot of people eat cooked fish inside their little rolls of rice heaven. I like it all types of ways. This is an example of what we ate last night:
california roll, spider roll, cha cha roll
diablo roll, 502 roll, orange salmon roll)
My dad, my step sister (Hey Carlie!) and I went to Sake Blue (more on my favorite restaurants in a bit). We started with this:
We also had their house salad (which is basically just really expensive ice berg lettuce drenched in a dressing made of ginger). My dad is a fat boy and asked my step sister to order a salad even though she didn't want one so that he could eat hers and not have to order two. I also ordered a side of fried rice.
The point is, eating sushi can be an experience (one of the best dates I ever went on was to eat sushi, good date but dude had some major road rage and we didn't go out again) so go for it.
Be courageous. Order something you have never had. I tease my trainer (Hey Joe!) because he talks of his love for sushi but only orders the california roll. Don't get me wrong, I share a california roll everytime I go, but it's strictly because my first experience eating sushi was a california roll. I was like 12 and my Dad and his girlfriend took me to Shogun (more about restaurants later) and it was so much fun and I loved it. I eat a california roll because it makes me happy to remember that day.
Try using chopsticks. Don't use them because you are a pretentious butt hole, use them because they are fun. Carlie rocked it out last night. **Hold the bottom one like you hold your pencil, the top one does the moving, practice makes perfect. If you can't use chopsticks, at least use a fork. If you use your fingers you are embarrassing yourself. If you use a fork, please for the love of all things sushi, do not cut it in half. The Ex is a sissy baby nancy pants and can't fit a bite in his mouth so he cuts it in half. He fails to realize this is an insult to the chef and he doesn't get the full flavor because it's split in half.
Best sushi in Louisville:
Osaka: Very small place (they are on restaurant.com if you are interested in a cheap deal). Nice atmosphere, they have a roll that they set on fire. I can't remember the name but it's really good, ask for it.
Mikato: They used to have $2 rolls on certain days of the week. They don't do that anymore, but the restaurant has cool fountains in it and every once in a while a bird flies around. Plus, sometimes your waiter doesn't know English. That's always uncomfortable and funny at the same time.
Sapporo: My very favorite! Must order the Mango Crunch Roll. It will make you want to slap your grandmammy in the face. And be really cool and order a Sapporo beer while your there. Bonus, if you eat at the sushi bar, you get a free cucumber salad. The only thing that sucks about this restaurant are the other people eating there. It's very trendy, with loud annoying techno music playing, and overly crowded dressed up weirdos sitting everywhere. They're all like, "We're so cool because we eat sushi in our stilletos." And, I'm all like, "I'm here in my sweat pants, just give me some food." Call ahead and make reservations so that you don't have to wait forever
Shogun: SUCKS!!!! Never eat there. It's cheap but it's foul. Trust me
Bendoya: On 5th St. downtown- only open for lunch. It's very small and you can see the chef from any seat in the restaurant. Very fresh
Sake Blue: The Ex's favorite. He loves the 502 roll. I like it there but if it was up to me we would go to Sapporro every time.
Fuji: Only go here if you are desperate for sushi, you live on Dixie Hwy, and you don't feel like driving to the East End. The food is just ok.
Hit me up if you ever want a sushi date- I'm your huckleberry.
