My darling sister (Baby S) got me a gift card to Victoria's Secret for my birthday. Note that my birthday is March 18, and yesterday was June 10. I really don't have time to shop for such things as pretty bras. Plus, for the last 5 years of my life I have been wearing nursing bras, so nice underlings (is that a word?) wasn't a priority for me. Besides, all babies care about is that the milk bag is there, not what it's wearing. So, my friend Kristie and I ventured VS to do some work for these pancake titties of mine. I also had a coupon for a free pair of panties and $10 off. I was given strict instructions from Baby S to try on every bra they have until I find the right one. With my instructions and Kristie in tow I walked up to the VS lady and told her what I was there to do. She offered to measure me, obviously I am immodest so we did that right in the middle of the store. Then she radioed to, Natasha, the "bra specialist", my size and told her that I was headed to the fitting rooms. As I am walking back there I wondered to myself if you have to have an advanced degree to be a certified Bra Specialist. Anywho, Natasha was gorgeous and spoke with a thick Eastern European accent. By the time I tried on the 20 bras she demanded I put on (literally 20 and literally demanded, like this, "You put this on next...it give you poosh up"), I was confused about what I liked and didn't like. Natasha was brutally honest and she remembered perfectly what looked good and what didn't fit. I should also note that she barged in the fitting room anytime she felt like it. She basically told me what bra I was to buy and then led me to the panties. She asked me what size I wore, I told her and she said (remember to use your thick accent), "No no no...that's naught yar zize. You go try on." My reply, "No way. I've been in there for too long already, I'm not trying on panties." She says, "You try on here in store- over clothes." So, I pulled on panties over my shorts in the middle of VS. I also accidently pulled them up a little to far and it pulled my shorts with them. My cheeks were hanging out the bottom and I proceeded to drop it like it's hot as if I was the Sun Drop girl. I had to make sure they were danceable. Natasha barely laughs and says, "I tell you, that zize naught fit you. You wear dis zize." I want to be best friends with Natasha.
***If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say Sun Drop girl, please watch this video. It is soooooo funny. Don't let me crack a Sun Drop open out in public...folks would be getting embarassed cause I would be dropping it like it's hot, fo sho. http://youtu.be/xuqBxvwYYUM
Hilarious!
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