Funny things about rich people

I had the great honor to turn in my the gift certificate TLB gave me for Mother's Day 2010. It took me a year to turn it in because I find it illegal (I mean inappropriate) to leave the kids in the car while I run in and get a massage, so I had to wait until I had the opportunity. Upon entrance to this lovely establishment, I was greeted by a tall, gorgeous, blond, receptionist that barely looked up from her computer to say, "Hello, Welcome to Joseph's. What service are we providing today?" This is in a voice that is so sickly, syrupy chipper that I threw up a little in my mouth. I am all about being pleasant, but only as long as it's with sincerity. For instance when she said, "We are glad you're here." I obligingly replied, "Thank you." and she replied again with, "Great." I need you to read that again....Now you're with me. She said, "Great" for no freaking reason other than she thought that she had to keep talking and really she was unable to multitask (as she was checking me in and looking at something on her computer), so she just threw the word "great" out there. It was weird. Once I was back in the salon, they asked me to go to the restroom and change out of my clothes into a robe and sandals. The runner told me to get as undressed as I am comfortable with. Well, anyone that knows me knows that I don't really get uncomfortable, so I was left with a dilemma. Do I take my granny panties off or not? Well, I did. I was free ballin' under that robe. I even had to go back to the waiting room for a minute like that. There was another lady in the waiting room waiting for her service. Something about people from the East End keeps them from making eye contact with people of the likes of me. She had on a fatty diamond and high heels. I wore nike flip flops in there. Then this 60 something year old East ender walked in there and she didn't make eye contact with me either (though she did request a "hot tea" from the girl that told me to get naked). I was kind of insulted, but really I didn't care because I was basically naked and afterwards I thought that maybe they were avoiding me because they were afraid a milk bag would fall out. Weirdos (and I include myself in that). So, I got my massage and honestly the conversation was better than the actually rub down. It was not worth the $ and I will definitely only be getting massages as special occasions. One more thing, on my way out (back at the receptionist's desk) I overheard this woman trying to decide if she should get this $25 paddle brush. Apparently they only had one more in stock. Come to find out she didn't have the money but she would later in the day and asked her to hold the brush for her behind the desk. She also asked the receptionist to go ahead and schedule a "polish change" for the following Thursday. I wanted to pull her aside and say, "Look stupid, you don't have the $25 you "need" for that brush, but you are going to pay someone to change the color of your nail polish? Get a life, and get some self worth." Sad people. I was happy to walk out of there in my nike flops and t-shirt (and greasy hair from all the oil they rubbed all over me). I was looking a hot mess for real. The highlight of my day was when I went to the mall to eat lunch. I placed my order at Sbarro and the cashier asked me if I was a mall employee, I told her I wasn't, but she still gave me the discount!!! I think she appreciated my honesty. What a nice lady. I probably should be offended by the fact that she thought I looked like a mall employee (kinda like being given the senior citizen discount when you're not a senior) but I was pumped to save $1.